What I Learned Today 😒

No, I'm not kidding. That's not a joke.

Just got back from a “tech” conference. (My first one.) I'm working on a product that is considered “tech” (I suppose) and wanted to go, not to exhibit, but to learn the industry and talk to some folks.

I also figured I'd get to see what the “tech” “geniuses” have on the horizon for us. Who doesn't love innovation?

And, Holy Mother of Everything That Is, Was, and Ever Will Be: grant me your protection and help me even begin to understand this weird industry.

Baby Jesus, take the wheel.

I can't write a lot on this post, even though I want to. I'm so goddamned confused it's nearly impossible to formulate a semi-coherent essay to explain what I'm thinking.

I'll do my best by stating that I understand the exhibitors and attendees are trying to start real, actual businesses. Else, why would there be investors there who want to invest in businesses?

From what I understand, investors' goal is to receive more money than they gave to a business.

Hope I didn't lose you yet...

Ok, so in order for a business to return more money to an investor than said investor invested, that business is going to have to get the money from somewhere.

The money businesses “get”, from my experience and education, comes from selling things to people and companies.

When one sells things, their widget goes out and money comes in.

The money that comes in is commonly referred to as “sales”. (Or, if you want to sound fancy you can call it “revenues”.)

The business can do lots of different things with these sales:

1. They can spend them on buying stuff the business needs to operate. Where I come from, we call these expenditures “expenses”.

2. They can buy things they reasonably think will make the business more money in the future. I'm really digging here, but I believe these are called “assets”, or even “capital”. When this money is used to hire employees, this is also a form of capital acquisition. I've heard somewhat knowledgable people refer to it as “human capital”. After all, an extremely talented, hardworking employee will earn the company many, many times their salary. I've been taught in schools that teach people how to business good, by smart people who have goodly businessed in the past, that assets which earn more money than they cost to buy are usually called “good investments”. Assets which earn less money than they cost to buy (or no money whatsoever) by comparison, are called “bad investments”.

3. They can put this money in the bank. In the future, when a business needs to spend the money, it will be there to do one of the things above.

4. They can return this money to shareholders, hence the phrase “return on investment” (ROI, or simply, “return”.) The investors who gave the business/startup money took a risk by doing so. Sometimes the risk is large, sometimes the risk is not so large. Generally, investors who take large risks expect to be compensated for these risks by earning a higher return.

I'm sure they can do more stuff, but this will do for now.

So, my whole business life, I've believed items 1-4 to be true. Imagine my surprise when I learned a few days ago I've been wrong!

Not only me, but my professors were wrong. Very wealthy people I know were also wrong.

It's a slap in the face. I'm ashamed. I feel like I just found out the laws of physics no longer applied. But I'm still plastered to the Earth by gravity!, I say. How could this be?

To ease my mind, I had to consult these geniuses at the tech conference.

Nah, man, they assure me with blank eyes. You're living in the ooollllldddd, outdated universe. Didn't you hear? The Revolution happened and it's called The New Physics.

Go on...

Basically, maaaaaaan, physics as we knew it before was “disrupted”. Now, we can all stay plastered to the ground without any pesky laws, man. Even if those laws have worked since infinity and have been proven by countless scientific experiments by a consensus of SUPPOSEDLY smart people.

Now, check this, maaaannnnn. I'm gonna blow your mind. If you're one of us, these so-called “laws” don't apply. It's...it's like we're the chosen ones, man. It's like we're so woke and so valuable to humankind that God himself said we didn't have to play by the same rules as everyone else.

You make money. We “burn” money, man. If we burn all the monies, important people pat us on the back and give us more.

Better yet, if we lose all their money on a shitty idea, all we have to do is come up with an even shittier one and....BAM!!!!...it starts raining green down on our “open floor plan” and pingpong tables.

You need “customers”. You have to work hard to find them, build something they like, and continue to please them. Here, we don't need customers, man. Here, they're called “users”, and we actually pay FOR them to use our products. When you don't have to slave away to please them day in and day out, maann, you can treat them like garbage...kinda like an animal in a feed lot. Or...or....or....check this out: like a retarded monkey clicking buttons non-stop for a banana.

Know how we know they're retarded, man? The bananas aren't even real!!! And they know this!

You need sales. We don't need no sales, man. If you think that sounds crazy you need to wake up!

How do I wake up?

I'll help you, man. Put your fist in the air and repeat after me:

Viva la Revolución!!!

Disrupt and AI all the things!

Cast away the shackles of millions of years of economic laws!

We are the chosen!

We will cover the Earth with our apps and our blockchains and our ridiculous meal kits and our horrific shit that comes in monthly boxes that we just need the suckers to buy until we get “acquired” by even bigger suckers that don't care about sales even though they call themselves “investors”!!!

Welcome to the Matrix, man. Now will you take the Red Pill?

#business #startups #idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore

Today I learned that seeing the sunrise is a choice.

Instead of driving, I decide to ride my bike to the coffee shop. This journey takes me along a beautiful river, over two bridges, above train tracks, and beside our sleepy, glittering city.

I see joggers, people hanging out together, and walking their dogs. Old school socializing.

About half way into my trip, the sunrise. Pink, orange, purple, and blue pastels above the glitter. Of course it only gets better as the ride goes on.

For a moment I'm struck with a weird feeling of jealousy (or was it sadness?) that I'd not been able to see the many sunrises before this. All those joggers and dog-walkers got to see it.

Whose fault is that? The sunrise is there, every single day. And it will be there tomorrow. And every day after.

It makes no sense to regret missing past sunrises. I had a choice to get up earlier and ride my bike to the coffee shop. But I didn't. It was always there for the taking.

Since I tend to turn everything into an introspective life lesson these days, this experience is no different.

There's a ton of things in life that are outside waiting for me. I just have to show up and take them.

Today I learned that in publishing, there's a fine line between giving your audience what it wants and losing your soul.

Today I learned that success is a twofold operation. Many think that success is a recipe, that if all the ingredients are in place and the execution is just right that it's guaranteed.

It may sound a little “new age” but there's more to success (however you define it) than showing up, having passion, and working hard. There's another invisible force at work.

I've failed many times, even while showing up, working hard, and having passion. These were the times I felt as if I were forcing something. Kind of like pushing a cart uphill instead of down.

I've recently started another company I've been wanting to start for about 8 years. The passion has been there the whole time, but until now it felt like the universe was conspiring against me, throwing obstacles in my path, not connecting me with the right people, etc.

This time is different. It seems as if everything is just falling delicately into place. Almost like gliding. It's subtle, consistent, and it feels right.

This happened to me once in the past and the company became a knock-out success. When I feel the same patterns this time I can't help but get energized and hopeful for the future.

The hard work won't change just because this invisible force is on my side. If anything, I'll gladly work harder.

The hardest part about being an entrepreneur isn't actually doing the work, it's inventing the work. This is the part I struggle with. Imagine you had an employee you're paying $25 an hour, for example. Would you be happy if they did what you did with your time today? If so, why did you do it? How much would it have cost you?

As an animal, when you're in a zoo you're safe. All these plants in the National Botanic Garden don't have to worry about a thing. Same for the animals.

One of life's big choices, isn't it? I guess it depends on whether you want wild, dangerous, rugged absolute freedom, or kushy, quiet, boring absolute safety.

Today I learned that what some online gurus refer to as “life hacks” or “brain hacks” or “work hacks” are all a bunch of hooey.

There's either doing the work or not. There's either getting up every day and grinding through or not. There's either approaching the hard things like a man, or there's believing in some magical fairyland shortcut you learn from a blog post.

People make a lot of money and gain a lot of attention for themselves by convincing us all otherwise.

If we screw up, fall behind, or just plain don't do the work, it isn't because we weren't privy to some secret “hack”.

It's because we're lazy. Or because we're lost. Or because we're full of doubt. We're tired. We're self-loathing. We feel alone.

If there's one actual “hack” I've learned – in addition to there being no hacks – it's to forgive myself for screwing up yesterday. Really forgive myself. And then pick up my whiny little ass and keep marching.

I'll say it again: business is not easy. Business is war. War is hard. It takes sacrifice and putting our big boy and girl pants on every single day.

Yes, some people do have it easy. Some get incredibly lucky and don't have to work as hard. Some are at the right place at the right time and skate through to an 8-figure exit.

But then there's the rest of us. They include me and probably you, too. We are the ones to whom the laws of business, physics, and reality still apply.

Let's not delude ourselves.

Oh, and speaking of war. If you're struggling with entrepreneurship, feeling hopeless, or need a hefty dose of reality, do yourself a favor an pick up The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. If I made a list of the top 10 books that changed my life (and I'm not using that phrase lightly) this one would rank in the top three.

He's the first “guru” who told me like it is. Even though his book is aimed at writers, it is equally applicable to entrepreneurs. It prepared me for the resistance I will face every day for the rest of my creative and business life.

So you want a “hack”? Step away from the guru blogs and read that book. Then grab your sword and shield and prepare for battle.

Today I learned that I don't fully understand some of the things I thought I did.

I'm trying to write an explainer about a rather scientific subject. Even though I've been learning about this subject for years, I'm finding it difficult to explain it in the article.

Do I really understand this?

I've had to look up a million things to keep going with the article which leads me to believe I don't fully grasp what it is I'm trying to teach others.

Also there's many different scientific opinions on how this subject actually works. This is leading me down a rabbit hole of skepticism and confusion about which scientists I should side with and which side I'll present in the article.

The article is not materializing as quickly as I thought and it's leading me to question everything I thought I knew.

Gotta run and get schooled s'more.

Today I learned that those darn meaningless numbers will suck in even the savviest among us.

Why do I obsessively check the stats, the followers, the likes, the shares, the comments? Why do we all do it? Validation, yes. It can feel good to get instant feedback on work you know you'll be chugging away at for 10, 20 years, or more.

But, I'm torn here. Is it even worth being on these social media platforms if I don't actually intend to be social? If I were in the food, fashion, sneaker, or watch industries, perhaps so. For these businesses, I've seen social media work wonders and inspire purchases.

But what I sell? I can't see someone going to Instagram looking for my widget. What the hell do I “share” every single day?

Inspirational quotes are easy. But does the world actually need one more sticky sweet quote on a pretty background? Probably not.

But here I am, playing the game so many others play and spending ungodly amounts of time with the hope that just one person will find what I have to say interesting.

Maybe I'm on social because it's easy. Frictionless. I don't have to put in much thought to higher strategies that will cut through the noise with grace.

I love the data, stats, and all that stuff. It's what marketers rely on to see if what they're doing is working. They tell us when we should probably change course and try something else.

Maybe social is a big testing ground where we begin to learn the high-level stuff.

It's true: we are all competing with your friend's cute dog, yummy looking recipes shot from above and prepared with dizzying speed, that hot chick you were obsessed with in high school that is still really hot and you have to check in every day just to see what earth-shatteringly intelligent thing she had to say this time about the blue margaritas at that club.

And then there's the political arguments. The digital embodiment of a horrific train wreck you just can't stop looking at. The weddings, the baptisms, the 20-year reunions, all full of familiar faces you know and care about. Your best friend got promoted. Your uncle got a new boat and can't wait to take everyone out.

The 67th article you've seen today about fake news ruining the republic. Beautiful celebrities in gorgeous clothes. A video so moving and inspirational you well up at your desk. I'm not crying. You're crying!

Raccoons in tutus. Fat children dancing really well to trap rap. Cute babies laughing hysterically.

And here we are. The marketers. We show up to this party daily wearing our Sunday best, sporting a bottle of Dom Perignon, desperately trying to mingle. To be clever.

God help us all.

Today I learned that if you are a talented individual and choose to live below your abilities, it is probably the worst thing you could possibly do.

Maybe even worse than shoplifting.

Using your God-given gifts to their fullest is the only way you should operate on this planet. Otherwise, shame on you.

I'm so very, very guilty of not doing this.