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Depth year... I'm embarking upon this year-long quest to deepen my relationship with the things I already own and care about. To heal my relationship with stuff and with physical reality itself. It's a vague project, with not so strict rules, and maybe this dooms it to failure, who knows. But mostly it's a practice – to be more mindful of how I spend my time, to not get trapped in numbing activities (hours of watching youtube and scrolling through tumblr), to not rush and fill unidentified emotional needs with buying, just because I can justify it as a purchase related to a hobby.

I'm into tarot. I have more tarot decks than I can comfortably use. I've put away a solid half of my not-really-that-impressive collection, and what remains still feels like too much to do meaningful work with. But from previous, smaller exercises I know I can't have just one or two decks out at a time, even for a week, not to mention a month, or year. Or can't yet do that. It's in my nature to skip between options, between projects and ideas, and there's nothing wrong with that. I want to work with my natural tendencies instead of against them. But all this skipping and jumping means many things get lost, fall by the wayside. I don't remember if I've ever completed something I've set out to do. Maybe my ideas were too big and I need to start smaller. Or maybe it's a matter of discipline, of circling back around to those back-burner projects, to see how they're going, to push them along at least a little.

I know I'm going to get scattered, and try to broaden instead of deepening my interests. I know I'm going to struggle to finish things, and struggle with the decision whether to dump them to free up time and mental space for something more rewarding. I'm not sure if I have a contingency plan for those instances just yet. Should I always try to go deeper, or should I go where my soul's calling me to, as long as it's not more escapism? I guess time will tell how these will get handled.

So far I've come up with the following rules for myself:

• try to buy as little as possible,
• definitely no introducing new tarot decks to the pool,
• I can buy fiction (I want to read more), but only after giving what we've got at home an honest shot – my to be read pile, partner's books, old favorites,
• I can buy replacements for art supplies that I've used up,
• generally: go deeper with things I already do and love,
• (not everything has to be productive, for down time see: books, and making the most use of our switch library),
• writing in the Daily Stoic Journal – that seems like the biggest challenge right now, a commitment to a daily activity, even though it's just a few lines.

I'm overwhelmed but optimistic. I hope this blog will be a place of accountability for me and a record I'll be able to look back on and learn from, should I try any such thing again in the future.