0lvr

The first daily journal entry brought me some clarity regarding feeling overwhelmed. It is indeed a huge endeavor, a great amount of pressure to overhaul something invisible, intangible, difficult to assess. But it's much easier to take it just one day at a time. Maybe I should be thinking about it as a series of Depth Days? I can't say for sure that I can do a whole year of meaningful activity, but I can much more easily imagine focusing on today. On making good choices today, or just keeping to choices already made. Or in even smaller chunks – this morning, this afternoon, this evening.

I think I could also benefit from having One Organizing Principle for this daily sort of upkeep. Something along the lines of noticing what I'm doing, checking in, so that looking up something on the internet for a legitimate reason doesn't suddenly turn into snapping back to consciousness five hours later. So like meditation, but with actions not just thoughts. Observing and coming back to a desired default.

So far it seems to be working, if that's something that can be said after half a day of trying. I've been on top of chores and responsibilities, I did my little morning practice, made the daily offerings. We went for a forest walk with my partner (bunnies! squirrels! doggos!), talked with family on the phone, those are meaningful activities. I haven't actively pushed any projects forward yet, but I've used the Tarot Z – which I'm supposed to be studying – for my pulls. Not even sure I'll want to be productive today with my hobbies, maybe I'll do more passive things, with yesterday being such a long day. Time for rest – hopefully in a way I won't later regret.

Happy New Year, everyone.