0lvr

so, Guidance. i have tried my hand at the simplified tirage en croix, laying out one card each from the majors and one from the minors for each position, and interpreting them according to the french resource i found. i asked about my spirituality in general, what direction to go, what form would be most nourishing. i got the following cards:

position one – what's “me” in this equation – XIII and Ace of Batons leaving the past behind, a complete change, ready to take on a new project. yes, no contradictions or mixed feelings here. interesting imagery – death is pregnant and an infant is reaching a hand out from the belly, while on the right, the hand holding the baton is extending its pinky finger towards death. they're reaching towards each other. makes me think the new will be born from the old, it won't be a completely different thing. it has to click into place the puzzle pieces of the past left for it.

position two – the other side of the equation, the “spirituality” – the Devil and Two of Cups hello! this reference material sees the devil as Pan and equates him with primal instincts and insatiable appetites. a very physical and sexual being. two of cups – “dating”, building a relationship. so building a relationship through physical means. sexual energy is a big one, could be a clue towards offerings or type of magic. could point to a deity as well. never really did hit it off with Dionysus but like... the Witch King was Alright. could also be a general hint in the vein of “do what feels right”, except pointing specifically to physicality and material pleasures. building some kind of practice around that.

(reading this over a few days later – the current state of my spirituality could be restricted and constrained, unable to connect on an emotional level. but that's just my own ideas, not in line with the materials i was consulting).

position three – relevant past influences – Justice and Eight of Cups i think here i most like the “stable and methodical” aspect of justice, the 8 of cups seems to be centered around legalizing a relationship, “setting it in stone” (which makes me wonder – does this method follow the minors-are-aspects-of-same-numbered-majors?) there was definitely a time in the past, tied to my physicality, that naturally maintained a rhythm of offerings and interactions. the circumstances have changed, but there are other regular activities that i could make sacred and attach a spiritual aspect to.

there's also the most “stable and methodical” i've ever been about my spirituality – the seven years of Hellenic Polytheism revivalism. so that could also be a clue. if not the faith itself then something about my practice then.

position four – future (outcome/advice) – the Hermit and the Queen of Batons someone wise, more experienced, maybe an elder. the guide even mentions magicians. the queen knows how to lead and inspire. thinking about looking into the long-standing practices of various women i respect and admire, maybe re-read some books. kelly-ann maddox for the inspiring woman, and aidan wachter for the magician? also circling back to presence and the physical, maybe “spell of the sensuous”?

can't rule out the ancestral angle, following in the steps of my elders. either following their values and building a practice around that (last year i felt especially close to my grandpa), or perhaps looking into the old polish gods again. it's a tough area, them being subsumed into general slavic polytheism, even in poland. not many sources to draw from.

a lot to think about. putting it all into the pot to simmer in the background, we'll see what rises to the top.