Hi I'm Zoey

So I did set out to have a much better social life. On the plus side I do now have a better social life. The downside to that means is that I have an outlet for emotions and also less time to write this diary.

At least a lot of the things happening aren't super new to me now. I mean there's still a ton of emotions going on but they're more familiar now. Not less strong because of that, mind you. If anything in some ways they've gotten more intense. Today, after I came home, I had to sit still and just calm down for a while. I was so hyped up on all these emotions I now feel that I spent my whole life repressing. Though I will freely admit that's possibly not as much dysphoria/repressed gender feels as it is repressed ADD. But I feel like they're related to my dysphoria, also.

Life is generally going great, so I'm very happy outside of the dysphoria. Except today I was forced to dress like some office drone. Before I felt fine with it but now? It makes me want to tear my clothes off. It's such a drag and wearing those clothes feels nothing like me. I'm so done with it and I'd love to show up to work in full makeup. Of course the problem with that is that I don't know how to do makeup yet! But I'll get there, slowly but surely. Practicing with all this makeup I got from my trans girl friend.