Borrowed and Twisted

the corridors of my life

My defenses become fences I'm stumbling I change my face And if you think I'm fake up Wait around till I take off my make-up

Here we go again I need another one. Her name is She looks at me Says I'm the only one

Is it getting better? Wrote her a letter asking questions Baby steps in sections I mean we'll take it slow

I really don't know When you talk you make me cringe Silver means your messenger Let her go don't question her

You and me what does that mean? Always what does that mean? Forever what does that mean?

It means we'll manage I'll master your language And in the meantime I'll create my own, by my own

I stand firm on some smile wit will be a while Say reduce me, seduce me Dress me up it's easy

A constant strum, ensures my insanity Ignorance ensures, struggle or calamity I'm hungry, ensnared by my appetite Constant hums, are news of a chill tonight

Confused by different memories Details of making memories Conversations of what's ready readily

My brain thinks wrong-like I only listen to the calm type My brain thinks long-like listening hard for a calm sight

And as I grow, I grow reflective Before the move, sit on the perspective

Distant cradle in the crevice weather from the precipice Until then, you have to live with yourself. Until when, you have to live with yourself.

'Cause when the soul starts I don't want anything (but you) Everyway and everyday I don't need anything (but you)

So I wanna show you show you where the feeling sparks Well I wanna tell you tell you that I've come to feel

So I'm gonna show you show you where the good times start Well I'm gonna let you let you take all the time you need

Silence emerges from the sound of rain and spreads in a crescendo of gray monotony over the narrow street I gaze down at. I’m sleeping on my feet, standing by the window, leaning against it as if there were nothing else in the world.

I search in myself to find what feelings I have before these falling threads of darkly luminous water standing out clearly against the grubby buildings and their open windows. I don’t know what I feel or what I want to feel. I don’t know what I think or what I am.

We'll be talking, teething, right in the morning I'll fly away so flirt with me, flirt with me

who's the guy there? does he know me? does he care? who's his girlfriend? she's so pretty but she's staring through me caring crudely

conflation of things that both look so

real, palpable, touchable almost,

and yet are in a state of disillusion.

Things that normally would be hard, are

draped, oozing, soft.

I wasn't satisfied at twenty-five or twenty-three will you let me find it, how much faster can it be? I'm telling everybody but advice is all I find oh babe I'm paralyzed just let me find some kind of life

but baby if you let me I'll do anything for you but baby if you let me I'll do anything for you but baby if you let me I'll do anything for you

Am I happy with who I am? Am I happy with the people around me? Am I happy with what I'm doing? Am I happy with the way my life is going? Do I have a life? Or am I just living?

I'm rebranding this blog to what you see it as now because what it was called before is simply not what it was but the url shall remain as reminder of what it never was nor intended to be

this is Borrowed and Twisted, a trove of stolen words distorted, uncredited interpreted for my head shoved up, spewed out published again this time to fade away

Just say you feel the way that I feel that everything is sex except sex which is power you know power is just sex you screw me and I'll screw you too