Resolutions

I will not do resolutions Goals Objectives For the new year

My life is not a project to be managed My heart will not be filled with checkmarks

(well, maybe a little, but certainly not enough)

I will not fool myself into thinking my life is a house that can be built brick by brick

(only worthy upon completion)

And not a painting I have already made by flinging brushes and tipping paint in my rush to build walls

I will write self-indulgent poetry that no one will read and take selfies that no one will see

I will let the dishes pile up and pat my husband sweetly when he blames himself for the disastrous state of our house

I will speak too loudly and listen too quietly I will replay conversations in my head for 3 days after a party

I will not stress about how much I have to do until suddenly I realize how time has passed

But I will still take naps

I will judge myself too harshly for things that bother no one and forgive my sins too quickly

I will fail to be the person I want others to see but I will succeed at being a person

I will learn to speak where people can hear me

I will find joy and hold it close

I will stand still in space and time and let my atoms flow into the cracks and crevices of the universe

(My heart will be filled with life)

And I will marvel at this freedom I have found