S1.E1: Pilot

I am unsure of how to start this blog, as I have never written one before. I have tried to keep diaries before both in high school and college, and I feel as though I am a good writer in some sense; I just always lacked the discipline to continue writing for more than a few days. This blog, “A Quiet Elephant”, seems as though it will be another try, hopefully, a more successful long-term one at that.

I should start with some introductions or at least background on who I am and why I'm writing. The who part would have to be somewhat anonymous, as I hesitate to be fully vulnerable with legal information on the internet specifically tied to how I feel.

There are some things you should know (if anyone does read this): such as being a 23-year-old male (going by he/him pronouns), being a person of color, being a non-immigrant to the United States here on a visa, and being about 6' foot and a mix of average and good looking. I wear glasses or contacts, I like to dress casually some days and well other days, and I work a full-time internship (technically as I wait for my SSN), and I am an avid reader of self-help articles and ways to improve myself. I love music, I love movies (although I rarely watch them anymore), and I play golf. I have an amazing girlfriend, and I have a great family and some great friends. All in all, I am pretty happy with both the quality of my life and the position I reside in at 23.

Now, forward on to the “why am I doing this” part. This comes down to two reasons: The first is that I would like to share some of my experiences and thoughts out loud even if no one sees them (I do have some wild experiences at just 23), and the second is a bit more therapeutic.

After an honest conversation with myself, others, and some deeper introspection, it seems that I can't fully process my emotions (surprise surprise, another non-immigrant that can't process their emotions). I have made serious headway in being able to talk about the events that happen, but unfortunately, the best I can do is “this made me upset and it's okay to be upset”. Which isn't bad! It just doesn't really verbalize or communicate what I actually feel in the moment. A big part of it lies within the vulnerability of expressing my emotions or talking about things that I feel sad or upset about without either burdening others or feeling weak. An online blog allows me to be vulnerable and speak freely without fear of judgment from those that know me, while also providing an outlet within the typing itself.

I would like to improve on this aspect of myself so I can be gentler on both myself and others.

I do hope I keep with this blog. Maybe this would be my first and last post forever, or maybe it'll be the start of something constant for years. Maybe I'll have hundreds see my writing, or maybe no one will. I hope in some ways it will help.

Oh also, the name of the blog is “A Quiet Elephant” for 2 reasons.

The first is because my legal first name means characteristics of an elephant in my native tongue.

The second is just because, elephants. Have you ever been in the presence of an elephant?

Amazing.

Best,

The Author