So here's the thing 1/?

Family has never been terribly important to me. It's been something that has happened in the background, like white noise. As soon as I was able to move away from my family, I did. I stayed at a safe distance just so I could crawl back if and when I failed, for sure, but that was pretty much the end of it. My grandmother was a prophet in that she knew I would leave and hardly ever look back. I lied through my teeth at the time and swore that I would always stick around.

It's hard for me to talk to my family. Nothing wrong with them other than them overall liking themselves. At least on my dad's side. And now, with my grandmother gone, my dad is all I have left to tie me to that part of my life. My mom is chasing her own happiness, and more power to her, but my dad has been dropped into a place where he'll eventually realize he has no direct purpose anymore. For the longest time it was to care for his family. Now, hopefully, I'll be able to convince him that this means moving closer us, letting go of the old chapters in his life, and trying to enjoy what's left of the world before it falls apart.

I get the irony here. I never gave a shit until it is largely too late. Clear as day, honestly. But, hindsight and all that. And I know it's being selfish, wanting him to uproot and move closer. I would be lying again if I didn't say this would make my life easier. But, at the same time, I can see from this distance that the only thing left for him there is more suffering.