The Rules
When I joined Ashley Madison I think my friends thought I had lost my mind. In fact, I wondered myself. All I really knew was I was in a relationship I was not yet ready to leave but living in a sexual desert. I needed touch, and words. And to be seen.
There are so many men. At first it's exhilarating, then, Overwhelming, you learn quickly that the female to male ratio puts you firmly in control. Also you learn how much men really want you to look at their cock, seriously. I think it's evolutionary. Look! I have this thing! I can make babies! Come here!
I approached my experience like a mini science experiment. I created rules for physical and psychological safety. I got really good at editing out the rule breakers. I learned early not to wait too long to meet. There is nothing more depressing then when good chat dies after you show up at Starbucks. I got discouraged. There were so many we created nick names and algorithms. Unfortunately we lacked some creativity which led to things like foot guy (I bet you can guess) and car guy (that's where the cops make a brief appearance) and eventually names like chef 2.0 (vast improvement on first), marketing guy (also 1 and 2) and The professor. There was also toilet guy (not what you think), and farmer 1 and farmer 2 (I have learned farming is lonely). And probably a few I have forgotten.
Ultimately marketing guy 2 won the quest for my pussy but not without some casualties. I have learned many things during this experience but probably the key finding is that there is no algorithm for attraction. And ultimately it's very hard to not break rules that exist largely due to your own weaknesses.