The Black Calypso

Hey y’all! Happy December! Wishing y’all much love and blessings over this holiday season.

Y’all…ya girl needs a miracle. Like I’m legit confused and kinda sad.

I got back with my most recent ex on Sunday. He came over, we talked and stuff and hung out the whole day.

Honestly it was a dream that I wished would’ve never ended.

However, the reason we broke up in the first place is because he has a habit of stonewalling.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, I bet you’re familiar with the act. Probably had someone do it to you or you’ve committed the act yourself.

Stonewalling is essentially the act when a person shuts down towards one or more people with no warning whatsoever. They immediately cease all forms of communication and you usually don’t know when you’ll ever hear from them again.

While this doesn’t sound drastic, anyone who has been on the receiving end of this can say otherwise.

Receivers can feel lack of caring, low self-esteem, anxious, unloved…basically you become so desperate to help out the person stonewalling you that you feel like unlovable trash.

Now this isn’t to say it’s done to hurt anyone. Sometimes it is and can be technically considered a form of emotional abuse depending on the circumstances.

However, some folks just need time and space. Which is completely understandable. However, when you’re stuck on the receiving end of constantly having someone walk in and out your life like that with no warning and they pretend like nothing happened, it’s draining.

He has a lot going on and I truly sympathize with it. But I was stood up this week after he promised to see me and haven’t heard from him since.

I’m so worried because it seems like he’s depressed and I don’t want him doing anything to harm himself. I just wanna be there for him. I feel so useless. I just wish I knew he was ok. That’s all.

Am I cared about? Honestly I wonder. I feel like a toy that a child throws somewhere and forgets and found again weeks later.

I know he doesn’t mean to make me feel this way but I’m trying my best to be respectful and supportive.

But it’s making me depressed honestly. I don’t know where we stand because he won’t communicate with me at all.

I don’t know what to do.

If anyone here has any advice, my email is listed on here. Please help.

Besides him getting in a funk like this when shit goes bad, everything else is absolutely amazing.

I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I wanna stay with him.

So please, help a sista out.

Ciao, lovelies