day 3 of 2021 – 3rd Jan Was awake and awake last night – got up to loo multiple times, got drink, sat up and read, lay back down, got back up – drank tea at 3.30am and finally dozed off. Felt rubbish this morning and didn't get up until half 10. I had drunk some coke (left over from Christmas) which probably didn't help but unhelpful thoughts running around my head was the main thing. I cleared away the home made Christmas tree today, and then have been for a long walk. We did a 2 + 2 walk today remaining socially distanced. For a while we sat outside the Harvester pub in Beechurst park (pub shut) on the benches well separated. The sun even came out for a while. I walked up, then around and then back, so walked from 1.45 to 4.15 when I got home. The house was freezing and has taken hours to warm up. I've been sat with multiple blankets on me. Its hard to think about anything other than the stupid house business and then I feel guilty that whatever happens, I'll be OK, I have a house, enough money and a job which isn't going anywhere. Fed up with the cold and the tedium. However at least sleepy now and hopefully will sleep and work will be distracting tomorrow.