saomari + confession;
“How unusual of you to ask Marika out at this hour, Saorin~ Is something the matter?”
“W-well, I thought it'd be a nice change of pace…” Saori smiled sheepishly, scratching her cheek with one hand. She could feel the heat slowly creeping up from her neck into her cheeks and it certainly wasn’t because the temperature was hot or anything. It was unusual for her, indeed. Maybe it was the pent-up stress after a long, exhausting week of exams, or maybe it was something more. Something that’s been buried in a box of her own, pushed down deep inside her heart.
She was no stranger to this feeling. She’s experienced this before a few times in the past—albeit she’s never let it surface, not even once. Yet, this time around, she felt the need to get it off her chest or else she might burst. Marika has always been perceptive, so it was only a matter of time before she realized the feelings she harbored towards her, anyways.
So, here they were, in the disco club they frequently visited. This time, they didn’t perform as Merm4id members, nor did they come with Rika and Dalia to have fun and get some drinks. Just the two of them, sitting side by side in the bar lounge, with the sound of ice cubes clinking inside their beer glasses.
Marika took a sip of her beer, then raised her glass to Saori. “Shall we?” But instead of clinking their glasses together, Saori said, “Marika, I want to talk to you about something.”
Her voice was stern and clear, all notions of hesitation gone. Marika widened her eyes for a moment. There was a look of determination in Saori’s eyes, and it reminded her of Saori’s unyielding gaze before performing on stage.
Nodding, Marika then offered a warm smile. “Go on.”
“I’m not sure if you’ve realized this or not... Well, you probably aren’t even aware of it in the first place, but... The truth is, I’ve been in love with you for some time, Marika. I love you, a lot.”
There was a beat of silence after that.
Marika widened her eyes, but she remained silent.
Saori immediately regretted her action. She thought she’d done the right thing. She thought even if her feelings won’t be returned, she’d still feel an ounce of happiness. But saying the word didn’t bring her happiness. It didn’t even bring her relief. Instead, it hurt. Seeing the warm smile slowly fade from Marika’s face, replaced with a mix of pain and confusion painting her face hurt.
Tears started to well up in Saori’s eyes then. She could feel Marika’s pitiful gaze on hers, and how she presented an apologetic smile. She knew if she gazed back at those beautiful purple orbs of hers, it would only make her dam broken, leaving her weeping helplessly.
It felt like forever until Marika opened her mouth, and when she did, no words left her mouth. Her gaze shifted into her glass, and after a few seconds, she stared back at Saori and pursed her lips.
“Saori… I didn't know you felt that way towards me...”
Marika’s voice was soft. Perhaps the softest she’s ever heard, but she could hear how it’s tinged with guilt and she sounded like she was in so much pain. Saori has always loved Marika’s soft, gentle voice. Even if it didn’t made her anxiety went away completely, her soft voice worked like magic whenever she went through it. It’s soothing. But this time, her soft voice made her want to cry.
Saori knew. She should have known how her feelings could never be returned. Because no matter how caring she is towards her, no matter how bright she smiled at her, she was never her object of affection. She was simply a friend and Merm4id’s DJ to her.
Lips quivering, Saori then breathed, “From the beginning, I never stood a chance, didn’t I?”
Saori’s question was answered with silence. So, Saori looked up and was immediately met with the sight of Marika smiling so gently and mellowly, her eyes glistening with tears.
“I’m sorry.”