I'm typing out the latest panic moment.

there is ALWAYS a reason to think that it is the end of the world. physically i feel like i have lost everything.

we bought a new office and the tenant want to stay but we NEED them to leave.

they are saying that they can stay until 2024 and too bad for us thats what the lease says.

rebecca is saying that the lease says that they didnt have a signed lease within 2 months of lease end so they are out of luck and have to leave by the law.

there are 2 interpretations and i dont know what side will win.

there will definitely be lawyers involved. hopefully the tenants will fold and leave, i fear that they ignore our lawyers letter and just stay in the building. we can change the locks but all their stuff will be in their,.

they will get pissd.

we need them to be out of there so we can move iut.

but what if they dont leave? do we call the police? do we bring them to court?

this new unknown conflict is just like any other unknown conflict. there are undless unknown uncomfortable conflicts.

i need to learn how to face them and exist with uncomfortable unknown conflicts.

i go worst case scenario and show that we are doomed. i think it through,play out scenarios what if THIS happens or what if THAT happens.

and i'm afraid on not being liked im afraid of being hated and a bad reputations. i want everyone to like me.

i dont know how i will handle any of this. i dont know how to respond or change and be different. conflict is uncomfortable. unknown situations are uncomfortable.

these things take over my whole world. my whole mind gets hijacked by terrible sschenarios.im mean to kids, i dont do work, i get depressed, my anxiety is through the roof.

but if not this tenant fear, then what else will be next?

do i see the tenant bending over and saying, ya right there is no lease i guess we better leave.

that is what they need to say. i don't know how this will happen.

i don't want to have to go to court over this. what do we do if they dont leave? we use the law. we sue them? take them to court.

get them out of our building.

is life just a series of bad news?

when this bad news is over that has stopped me completely, then something else will appear.

i need to learn how to manage my anxiety. drop an anchor., whatever the hell that means. my anxiety is crippling. i thoughts about suicide a lot when i had depression. nortriptyline fixed that. now i think about depression because of anxiety.

i never through i would be so anxious that i wanted to die.

i can escape. i dont know how to espace. i dont have the mind to escape. i dont have the mindset or ideas or tools. tol escape anxiety.

how can i be comfortable with uncertainty and not ruminate. how can i sit still and separate from conflict and not let it take over my life.

ever set back means defeat. every setback mean we are screwed forever.

i cant get out of this mindset on my own. things do not work out. do they?

i need to be grateful.

but I'm so anxious and nervous