Depression Stinks

My intuition has been knocking at my door, trying to alert me to something in my life for quite a while now.

I believe in the significance of #dreams, those nighttime glimpses into what our psyche is too distracted to tell us during waking hours.

Off and on, for about the past 30 years, I have made a practice out of recalling and recording my dreams. Sometimes I don't know what to make of them, and they are about as helpful as trying to read hieroglyphics about my life. At other times, they seem to be like road signs pointing the way, indicating at least a partial nudge in one direction or another. A few of them are like movie reels, stories spinning themselves like a tapestry as it unravels, and even I am amazed at where they take me ... sometimes to far-off lands, in a Technicolor maze of invention, with totally unrecognizable characters. And I just have to record them because it is so unbelievable that they could have sprung from my own imagination.

Lately my dreams have an ongoing theme that barely changes, and I have no idea what my subconscious is trying to tell me; but I do know that it's working overtime, and there must be some reason.

Mainly I dream of everything associated with air travel, and on a frequent basis. Last night I dreamed that distant family from Alabama was driving me to the airport to fly out with my daughter, and I hadn't even purchased our tickets yet! I was scrambling, afraid I would not have enough money. I dug $600 out of my purse, and yet I knew I needed about $600 more to buy my daughter's ticket. I was frustrated and didn't know what I was going to do, as I knew I needed to return by the next day for work. I considered in my mind who would have enough money that I could borrow, or where we would stay until I got paid or came up with the funds.

For the past few years, my airport dreams have had me running and rushing through a long, often unending terminal. Sometimes it is crowded, and sometimes eerily unpopulated. Sometimes I board the flight, but there are problems, and it doesn't get off the ground. Another time I was either lost or late trying to make my flight before it left, or a ticket agent wouldn't let me through. But there are always barriers to my actually flying somewhere from my destination.

Are my dreams trying to tell me that I need to escape my presently unhappy relationship or living situation? Or are they just my brain's way of dealing with my everyday life stressors? I wish I knew, because they plague me so much. I can see having these types of dreams if I were a frequent flyer, but I've barely flown in these past few years since I gave birth to my daughter.