I would call myself (gratefully) inconsistent, but I think a better descript= or would be consistently changeable. I feel strongly about things, and then a= month later I feel the opposite, but equally as strongly. For example, a mo= nth ago I was ranting on and on about how my job is fake. Walking through a b= uilding of elevators and cubicles and computers with identical login screens= =E2=80=94 it feels like a weird adult playground of make-believe importance= , like it=E2=80=99s all irrelevant and completely intangible.=20
This month? I=E2=80=99m delighted that, over the years, I=E2=80=99ve achieve= d this status of =E2=80=98being a businessman=E2=80=99, like the ones I alwa= ys saw in formal button down shirts on the plane, cuffs rolled up showing a s= exy hint of muscled forearm, typing away on their computers with Things To D= o, bringing home lovely paychecks. That=E2=80=99s me now. EEEE. Girly squeal= .=20
I was thinking of that this morning, and remembering how it used to feel wor= king flights =E2=80=94 like my brain was hungry and was rotting away. There w= as nothing to achieve, being a flight attendant. The whole point is homeosta= sis. No wonder I began studying 7 different languages during that time. I sp= ent a lot of time on the plane trying not to be as OCD as my instincts wante= d. Does it really matter if Sally Coworker wants the coffee jugs placed on t= op of your shared cart in a less efficient (read: stupider) position? No, it= doesn=E2=80=99t. So you swallow your tongue and let her rearrange your shar= ed service items the dumb way, and you focus on serving people, because that= =E2=80=99s your job, and ease in your working relationship with your coworke= r matters far more than having to reach your hand a weird way to lift the co= ffee. Besides, once you=E2=80=99ve accepted the parameters you=E2=80=99ve be= en handed, is anything else really too difficult? The rejection of your real= ity is always what makes things most difficult.=20=