Douglas Vandergraph

jesuschangeseverything

Every person carries a moment in their life that splits everything into two parts.

Before it happened.

And after.

For some people, it’s a phone call in the night.

For some, it’s a hospital room.

For some, it’s a courtroom verdict.

For one man, it was a hill outside the city, three wooden beams, and a dying stranger in the middle.

We call him the thief on the cross.

But that wasn’t how his story began.

Not even close.

Long before anyone ever spat on him.

Long before nails pierced skin.

Long before his name vanished from polite conversation.

He was a child.

He was named.

He was kissed on the forehead.

Someone once believed his hands would build something, not steal it.

Someone once believed his life would matter.

And that belief… would be buried long before his body ever was.

We like simple stories.

Good people and bad people.

Heroes and villains.

But real lives aren’t written that cleanly.

They fray.

They bend.

They crack under weight.

And his life bent slowly.

Work was scarce.

Power lived in Rome.

Money flowed upward.

And hunger never waits for dignity.

So he took a shortcut.

Not a dramatic one.

Not a headline one.

A small one.

And then another.

And then a thousand after that.

No one wakes up one day and decides to become a lost cause.

They decide to survive.

And survival, when stripped of hope, eventually strips everything else too.

By the time iron met his wrists for the final time, he didn’t curse.

He didn’t plead.

He didn’t run.

Because exhaustion had already done what chains only finished.

The streets felt different when everyone knew your ending.

The crowd always watches differently when they believe justice is being served.

Some people came for righteousness.

Some came for entertainment.

Some brought their children because even cruelty becomes ordinary when it’s repeated often enough.

Three crosses waited.

One crime for each.

Except one of them had no crime at all.

The sign above the middle cross was meant to mock.

“King.”

Painted like a joke.

Hung like a lie.

And yet… somehow… it felt heavier than the others.

The hammer struck.

And wood accepted flesh.

And flesh accepted iron.

Every breath turned into labor.

Every second into resistance.

Pain does something strange to time.

It stretches it.

It widens it.

It turns moments into miles.

The thief watched the crowd with eyes that had seen everything except mercy.

He had seen fear.

He had seen anger.

He had seen greed, hunger, violence, survival.

He had not seen mercy given freely.

Not like this.

One of the men beside him screamed in rage.

He spit curses at soldiers.

He screamed at the crowd.

And then his voice turned toward the center cross.

“If You really are who they say… save Yourself.”

The crowd loved that.

Ridicule always makes people feel powerful.

But the other thief did not laugh.

He studied the man in the middle.

And something felt wrong with the joke.

Kings begged.

Kings negotiated.

Kings cursed.

This one didn’t.

Blood ran down His face.

But calm stayed in His eyes.

And the thief realized something that shook him deeper than the nails ever could.

This Man wasn’t dying like someone who lost.

He was dying like someone who chose.

That is a different kind of strength.

And with what little breath he had left, the thief did something he had never done his entire life.

He told the truth about himself.

“We deserve this.”

Not as self-hatred.

As honesty.

And then, pointing with nothing but his eyes at the Man beside him:

“But He doesn’t.”

That sentence would have faded into the crowd if it wasn’t followed by the next one.

A question that wasn’t really a question at all.

“Remember me.”

No bargaining.

No reasons.

No résumé.

Just four words offered from a man who had nothing left to offer.

And then the reply came.

Not from heaven.

Not from thunder.

From torn lungs and steady authority.

“Today you will be with Me.”

Today.

Not after you fix everything.

Not after you explain everything.

Not after you repay anything.

Today.

And heaven shifted.

This man never preached a sermon.

He never corrected his past publicly.

He never restored what he had broken.

He never made amends.

He never became an example of religious discipline.

And yet… he became one of the most dangerous testimonies grace has ever produced.

Because he proves something most people secretly fear is not true.

That you do not earn your way into mercy.

You collapse into it.

This man entered eternity with blood on his hands, fear in his heart, and no record of righteousness to lean on.

And heaven opened anyway.

We struggle with that.

Because deep down, we prefer systems where worth is measured.

We like ladders.

We like proof.

We like paperwork.

This story blows all of that apart.

And that is exactly why it remains so threatening to pride and so comforting to the broken.

This man did not find God at the height of hope.

He found God when hope was already bankrupt.

He did not turn to God when life came together.

He turned when everything fell completely apart.

And that is where most people meet Him.

Not in strength.

Not in certainty.

But in surrender.

The cross did not convert a good man into a believer.

It revealed a lost man who finally stopped pretending he could save himself.

And that is the difference between the two criminals.

Not their record.

Not their pain.

Not their nails.

Their response.

One mocked until his last breath.

The other surrendered with his last breath.

And eternity split on that choice.

We talk often about being close to God.

But proximity doesn’t save.

Response does.

Both men were equal distance from Jesus.

Only one entrusted his soul to Him.

And that matters.

Because many people today sit near faith their entire life.

Near Scripture.

Near prayer.

Near theology.

Near church.

Near believers.

Near Jesus.

And they still never surrender.

They die near salvation…

but not inside of it.

This is not a story about criminals.

It is a warning for the comfortable.

And a rescue rope for the hopeless.

The thief did not come down from the cross.

But he went up anyway.

And that should unsettle every religious structure built on performance.

And comfort every soul crushed under shame.

Because it means your worst chapter does not get to write your final sentence.

It means your ending is not hostage to your past.

It means the door of mercy is not guarded by your résumé.

It is guarded by your surrender.

And that changes everything.

The thief’s body never stopped hurting.

The promise didn’t erase the pain.

The words “Today you will be with Me” didn’t magically soften the nails or quiet the burning in his chest.

Salvation did not anesthetize suffering.

It sanctified it.

He still had to endure the same hours as the others.

Still had to surrender breath one at a time.

Still had to stare death in the face without the option of escape.

But everything inside him had changed.

He was no longer dying toward nothing.

He was dying toward Someone.

And that makes all the difference in the world.

The sky darkened.

The crowd unsettled.

The soldiers shifted uneasily as the earth groaned under the weight of what humanity was doing to its own Creator.

And the thief kept watching the Man in the middle.

He had stolen many things in his life.

Money.

Food.

Opportunities.

Trust.

But this… this was the first thing he would ever receive without taking it.

He would be carried.

His final breath left his body somewhere between broken agony and quiet trust.

And then… the hill disappeared.

Darkness gave way to light.

Pain loosened its grip.

And the man who entered death empty… arrived in eternity full.

He had no history of righteousness to lean on.

No lineage to quote.

No accomplishments to frame as evidence.

Only a promise.

And that promise carried him farther than his best efforts ever could.

We imagine heaven with gates and brilliance and order.

But I imagine something simpler first.

I imagine confusion.

Not the confusion of fear.

The confusion of relief.

The confusion of a man who expected judgment and found welcome instead.

And when asked why he stood there, the most honest answer he could give was the only one he had.

“The Man on the middle cross said I could.”

That sentence dismantles every illusion of earning.

It tears down every ladder of spiritual performance.

It humiliates pride and resurrects hope.

Because it means we don’t enter God’s presence by proving we deserve it.

We enter because Jesus said we could.

And that reality changes the way we look at ourselves, and the way we look at others.

It means no one is too far gone.

It means the last breath is not too late.

It means grace works faster than regret.

It means mercy outruns memory.

It means shame does not get the final word.

It means your worst chapter cannot veto God’s ending.

But this story is not only about heaven.

It’s about here.

Because we are far more like those two thieves than we are comfortable admitting.

One spent his dying seconds demanding proof, demanding rescue, demanding conditions.

The other entrusted his soul without leverage.

And both had equal access to Jesus.

Some people want God on their terms.

Others want God at any cost.

Only one walked into eternity at peace.

We can be near Jesus our whole life and never surrender.

We can attend.

We can listen.

We can nod at truth.

We can quote Scripture.

And still never trust Him with our ending.

This is the hidden danger of familiarity.

Proximity without surrender.

Religion without trust.

Belief without yielding.

The thief teaches us that it is not how long you knew about Jesus.

It is when you finally place yourself in His hands.

Some people believe early.

Some believe late.

But everyone enters the same way.

Helpless.

That is what makes the story so uncomfortable for pride.

And so beautiful for the broken.

Because it removes comparison.

No one gets in by being better.

Everyone gets in by being His.

That means the addict who relents tomorrow enters by the same door as the pastor who served faithfully for decades.

That means grace is just as complete for the last-minute surrender as it is for the lifelong disciple.

Not because effort doesn’t matter.

But because salvation is not wages.

It is inheritance.

The thief had no time to prove transformation.

But Jesus saw transformation before it ever had time to prove itself.

And that truth is painful for systems built on measuring worth.

But it is oxygen for souls crushed under guilt.

Some of you reading this have spent years punishing yourselves for who you were.

You replay old versions of yourself as if shame were a discipline.

You believe forgiveness is real, but you secretly think you forfeited it.

You believe grace exists, but not for you in full measure.

You believe God restores others, but your case feels different.

The thief on the cross destroys that lie completely.

He had no future reputation to rebuild.

No opportunity to demonstrate improvement.

No church attendance streak.

No evidence of reform.

Only surrender.

And Jesus said, “Today.”

That word still echoes.

Not tomorrow after you fix it all.

Not when you finally become who you think you should have been.

Today.

This is why the story terrifies legalism and heals the wounded.

Because it doesn’t flatter effort.

It magnifies mercy.

And that is what most souls are starving for.

Mercy without suspense.

Mercy without fine print.

Mercy without negotiation.

And yet… the story does not excuse sin.

The thief did not deny his guilt.

He did not rationalize it.

He did not blame Rome.

He did not scapegoat the system.

He spoke one of the rarest sentences in human history:

“We deserve this.”

That sentence alone tells us something essential.

Grace does not require denial of guilt.

It requires ownership of it.

The thief didn’t ask Jesus to call evil good.

He asked Jesus to remember him anyway.

And that distinction matters.

You do not have to pretend you are innocent to be forgiven.

You only have to trust the One who truly is.

That is the collision of honesty and hope.

We often fear that if we truly admit what we’ve done, God will turn away.

The thief proves the opposite.

Honesty is what turned him toward God.

Because there is no safer place to be known than in the presence of mercy.

The cross holds both truths at once.

We are more broken than we ever wanted to admit.

And we are more loved than we ever dared to hope.

That is why this story endures.

Not because it is dramatic.

But because it is accurate.

It tells us what kind of God we are dealing with.

Not a God who waits at the finish line with a clipboard.

But a God who descends into human pain and lifts us out of it.

The Man on the middle cross did not save the thief by removing his cross.

He saved him by sharing one.

And that is the God revealed in Jesus.

A God who does not shout instructions from safety.

But enters suffering Himself.

So that suffering would no longer be the end of the story.

This is what reshapes how we see every broken person we encounter.

Because none of us knows when another soul will speak their “remember me” moment.

And if grace can reach a man nailed to a Roman execution stake, it can reach anyone.

Anyone.

The cross announces that no one is beyond the radius of mercy.

No addiction outruns it.

No failure outpaces it.

No shame blocks it.

No past vetoes it.

And no future fears it.

Which brings us back to the only difference between the two men that day.

Not their pain.

Not their crimes.

Not their suffering.

Their surrender.

One chose cynicism.

The other chose trust.

One died demanding evidence.

The other died trusting grace.

And eternity split right there.

So the question this story always asks is not:

“Are you good enough?”

It is:

“Who are you trusting with your ending?”

Because one day, all of us will exhale a final breath.

And whatever we have built will suddenly become very small.

What will remain is not what we achieved.

Not what we accumulated.

Not who applauded us.

Only who holds us.

The thief teaches us that no résumé follows the soul.

Only relationship does.

And that relationship was sealed with four words spoken through pain.

“Today you will be with Me.”

That promise was not just for a dying criminal.

It was for every future reader crushed under the weight of their own mistakes.

It was for every believer who ever wondered if they had waited too long.

It was for every soul that ever thought their final chapter was already decided.

That hill still speaks.

That promise still works.

That mercy still moves.

And the Man on the middle cross is still saying the same thing to surrendered hearts:

“Come with Me.”

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Your friend, Douglas Vandergraph

#GraceWins #ThiefOnTheCross #RedemptionStory #FaithThatSaves #MercyOverShame #JesusChangesEverything #HopeForTheBroken #NoOneTooFarGone

Faith-Based Parenting | Christian Motivation | Power of Words

Every day, in countless homes across the world, children are hearing words that will shape who they become — not just in childhood, but for the rest of their lives. Some hear love, hope, and faith. Others hear anger, criticism, and disappointment.

The truth is simple, yet eternal: Death and life are in the power of the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) Your words don’t just describe your child — they define them. They build identity, create self-belief, and echo for generations.

That’s what this message is about — learning to speak life, not death, over your children.

🎥 Watch this powerful full message on YouTube here: 👉 The Words That Are Destroying Families (Douglas Vandergraph)


💔 1. The Unseen Power of a Parent’s Words

Words have power — more than many parents realize. We tend to think our children will “get over it,” that what we say in frustration doesn’t linger. But research, psychology, and Scripture all confirm otherwise.

When a parent says, “You’ll never change,” “You’re lazy,” or “You embarrass me,” those words don’t disappear. They take root in the heart and become a child’s inner voice.

According to Stanford University’s Center on Early Childhood, early language exposure profoundly affects emotional development. A 2023 study confirmed that children who receive affirming, loving language from caregivers exhibit higher empathy, stronger confidence, and lower stress levels later in life (Stanford.edu).

Meanwhile, neuroscientists at MIT and Harvard found that the number of conversational turns between parent and child — not just word count — predicts growth in the brain’s language and empathy centers (AAU.edu).

What does this mean? Your words literally build your child’s brain. Your tone literally forms their emotional landscape.

This isn’t poetic metaphor — it’s biological truth. God designed the human mind to respond to speech because He spoke creation itself into existence (Genesis 1). We were created through words, sustained through words, and transformed by words.


🌱 2. The Biblical Foundation: Why God Cares About Your Language

Scripture tells us in Ephesians 4:29,

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”

And again in Proverbs 18:21:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

In Hebrew, the word “life” here is chay — meaning to nourish, to revive. The word “death”maveth — means to wither or destroy. So, according to Scripture, your tongue can either nourish or wither. Build or destroy.

When you curse your child — not with swear words, but with words of condemnation — you are unknowingly speaking maveth. But when you speak faith, encouragement, and patience, you are sowing chay — the kind of life that grows roots and bears fruit.

As BibleHub Commentary explains, “Words are seeds; and the fruit they bear is determined by the kind of seed sown.” (BibleHub.com)


🔥 3. The Spiritual Science of Words

Modern psychology now supports what Scripture has always said — words shape the mind and body.

Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist and coauthor of Words Can Change Your Brain, notes that “a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.” (PsychologyToday.com)

When a child grows up in a home filled with criticism, their brain releases cortisol (the stress hormone) more frequently, making it harder for them to regulate emotions. Over time, this leads to anxiety, anger, or withdrawal.

Conversely, loving, affirming language triggers oxytocin — the “bonding hormone” — which creates calm, safety, and trust.

The spiritual truth? God wired our biology to respond to blessing. The Creator designed the human mind to flourish under grace.

So when you speak life, you’re not just being “nice” — you’re partnering with divine design.


🪞 4. The Mirror Effect: What Children See and Hear in You

Children are mirrors. They reflect what they see, what they hear, and what they experience.

If they live in fear, they learn to hide. If they live in criticism, they learn to judge. If they live in love, they learn to give.

Author Charles Cooley’s “Looking-Glass Self” theory (1902) explains that our self-image is formed by how significant others — especially parents — perceive us. Modern research by the American Psychological Association confirms this: children internalize their parents’ emotional tone as a reflection of their own worth (APA.org).

That means your child’s inner world is shaped by the soundtrack of your home. What’s the background noise in yours — yelling, gossip, sarcasm? Or laughter, gratitude, and prayer?


🌤️ 5. Breaking the Cycle of Verbal Destruction

Some of us grew up in homes where harsh words were normal. Maybe your parents spoke anger, not affection. Maybe you promised you’d be different — but the stress of life made you repeat what you hated.

That’s not the end of your story. Through Christ, you can break that pattern.

Romans 12:2 reminds us:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Renewal begins with repentance — acknowledging the words that wounded and replacing them with words that heal.

Here’s how to start today:

  1. Recognize your triggers. When frustration rises, pause before speaking.

  2. Replace reaction with reflection. Ask, “What do I want my child to feel when I’m done talking?”

  3. Repair when you fail. Saying “I’m sorry” is one of the most healing sentences in the world.

  4. Reinforce with blessing. Speak intentional words of love daily, even when it feels awkward.

You don’t need perfection; you need persistence. Every day is a chance to speak new life.


🙏 6. Turning Complaints Into Prayers

Parents often talk about their kids’ behavior to others — but few talk to God about it first. Before you vent, pray. Before you gossip, intercede.

Prayer redirects your focus from what’s wrong to Who is right. It aligns your heart with God’s.

As Jesus taught in Matthew 12:34,

“Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

If your heart is full of frustration, your words will reflect it. But when your heart is full of prayer, your words will reflect peace.

Take five minutes each day to lay your children before God:

“Lord, bless them, guide them, and help me be the parent they need — not the critic they fear.”

It will change your home more than any parenting book ever could.


🌻 7. Real-Life Testimony: The Turnaround Moment

A mother once told me about her teenage son. For years she called him “lazy” and “unmotivated.” She didn’t realize how deeply those words were wounding him. One night, after hearing a sermon about the power of speech, she walked into his room, hugged him, and said, “I’ve been wrong. You’re not lazy — you’re just hurting. I believe in you.”

Two months later, that boy got his first job, joined a youth group, and started praying again.

Did those words change everything overnight? No. But they broke the curse and planted hope.

Sometimes all God needs is one moment of humility from a parent to open a lifetime of healing for a child.


🌿 8. Speaking Life in Practice: A Daily Blueprint

Morning Declaration

Start the day with faith-filled words:

“You are strong, you are chosen, and you are loved.”

Even if your child rolls their eyes, say it anyway. The words still land.

Midday Correction

Instead of, “Why are you always messing up?” try:

“This isn’t like you. I know you can do better.”

Correction wrapped in belief changes behavior faster than criticism wrapped in shame.

Evening Reflection

Before bed, ask yourself:

“What kind of words filled our home today?” “Did I build or break?”

Then pray over tomorrow.

Family Prayer Time

Gather together. Read Proverbs 15:4:

“A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”

Invite your children to pray for each other. Let them see grace in action.


✝️ 9. The Jesus Model: Grace in Every Word

Jesus spoke truth, but never cruelty. He corrected sin, but never crushed sinners. He challenged the proud but comforted the broken.

John 1:14 says,

“The Word became flesh … full of grace and truth.”

Notice — grace first, truth second. That’s the model. Your children need truth, yes. But they’ll only receive it if it’s wrapped in grace.

Parenting like Jesus means you correct in love, teach in patience, and restore with mercy.


🕊️ 10. Generational Restoration Through Words

Maybe your family history is filled with verbal abuse, silence, or rejection. But the beautiful truth of the Gospel is that you can end what began generations ago.

Exodus 20:6 declares that God “shows love to a thousand generations of those who love Him.”

Your obedience today becomes your descendants’ inheritance tomorrow.

By choosing to bless instead of belittle, you are building an unshakable spiritual legacy.

You are breaking chains you didn’t even put on.

You are changing the story forever.


💬 11. What the Experts Say About Positive Language

Even secular experts now affirm what Scripture said centuries ago: your tongue is your greatest parenting tool.

  • Harvard Health Publishing notes that positive language improves communication, self-control, and cooperation in children (health.harvard.edu).
  • American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes that encouraging, empathetic talk “creates stronger emotional security and family bonds” (aap.org).
  • University of California–Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center reports that “kind speech and gratitude reshape neural pathways toward resilience and happiness” (greatergood.berkeley.edu).

Isn’t it amazing when science finally catches up to Scripture?


🌾 12. Your Words as Legacy

Someday, your children will tell stories about you. They’ll quote your favorite sayings. They’ll remember what your voice sounded like.

Will they say, “My mom always believed in me,” or “My dad never had anything nice to say”?

Legacy isn’t money, property, or titles. It’s the echo of your words in the hearts of your children.

Be intentional about that echo. Let it sound like love.


🌹 13. A Final Reflection: Change Begins With One Sentence

You don’t need a degree in theology or psychology to speak life. You just need willingness.

Start with this:

“I love you. I’m proud of you. I believe in you. And I’m sorry for the times I didn’t say it sooner.”

Those words alone can rebuild a bridge.

Your children don’t need you to be perfect — they just need to know you’re trying. And when you invite God into your words, He multiplies them.

Speak life. Because the God who spoke light into darkness can speak healing into your home through your voice.


🙏 Prayer for Parents

Father in Heaven, Thank You for the sacred responsibility of raising children. Forgive us for the careless words we’ve spoken in anger or fear. Teach us to speak life, not death. Hope, not despair. Let our homes be filled with kindness, laughter, and faith. Help us plant blessings today that will bear fruit for generations. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.


🌟 Final Thoughts

Parenting isn’t about perfection — it’s about reflection. Your children are watching, listening, and absorbing. Let them see a reflection of Christ in your words.

When you speak, speak healing. When you correct, correct in love. When you fail, apologize quickly.

And remember — God isn’t looking for perfect parents. He’s looking for surrendered ones.


🔖 Signature

In faith and love, Douglas Vandergraph

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube ☕ Support this ministry: Buy Me a Coffee


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