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Have you noticed the needy behavior of some people on social media?

Look at this comment on this Instagram picture:

What the HELL has gone wrong?!

Hollywood, the mainstream media, and the internet are brainwashing men and women into creepy little fvckers.

(Do Not become a creepy-ass dude like this guy!)

*Facepalm*

But I've got something to admit...

I want to talk with you about something that I'm embarrassed about...

That thing now makes me cringe when I see this behavior in others.

It's something I'm not proud of....

It's something that repelled good people in my life...

It's something that I now consider manipulative behavior...

What I'm talking about is neediness!

To reclaim my dignity, overwhelming emotions, and love life, I went on the journey to purge needy behaviors and mindsets from every cell and atom of my body...

And I want to help you do the same today!

(First, let's get things straight...I was nothing like that guy commenting in the picture above haha)

We’ve all been there, right? That sinking feeling in your stomach when you think your partner is pulling away from you.

Part of you wants to do whatever you can to prevent your partner from leaving…

Sending dozens of text messages, becoming suspicious of anything your partner does, and asking for reassurance that he or she still has feelings for you.

Is that pit in your stomach intuition trying to tell you something? Or is that feeling a trigger from past experiences of being rejected and unloved?

These emotional and behavioral patterns could very well be neediness.

You basically become too hungry for the validation of the person you want in your life as a partner.

At a subconscious level, the person you're needy about, picks up on this and is instantly repulsed...

Even more repulsed than an model is afraid of carbs!

*Take that, bread!*

From my clinical experience, when these extreme behaviors and feelings are going on, it’s usually because of something deep-rooted inside us.

If you’ve heard someone say to you, “Quit being so thirsty,” it may be a sign that you are engaging in needy behaviors.

We all depend on each other for our basic needs of connection, love and security…But neediness is when we *“Freak Out”* if we feel that being taken away from us.

Neediness is the unhealthy side to healthy dependency…

It’s craving constant contact, fears of abandonment, and feeling helpless when someone is not giving us love.

Adopt these mindsets to start helping you overcome neediness:

1) Your Partner Cannot be the Primary Source of Your Happiness:

You have different kinds of needs in life. You have intellectual needs, physical needs, and emotional needs that should be divided up amongst your friends and family.

Have hobbies and activities that don't include your partner.

For example, my wife hates hiking, but I love to hike so I have friends where we do that activity without her.

Have a coworker buddy where you two can vent about work.

Your girlfriend or wife doesn't want to hear you complain everyday about what goes on in the workplace. Find a coworker where you two have that connection of venting and joking about the politics of the work environment.

Have a family member where you two engage in traditions that are just for the two of you. Father/son trips where only you two go camping together are great ways to deepen your family bonds, but also maintain your separate identity from your partner.

Remember, it's too burdensome to put all of your needs and happiness onto one person.

2) Outcome Dependence Vs. Outcome Independence:

When a person becomes too outcome dependent, he or she is too emotionally involved in a particular outcome they want from an event.

I see this a lot when a person starts dating someone, he starts imagining marrying her, and tells himself “She's the One!” When the relationship and, and his fantasy doesn't come true, the guy ends up becoming super depressed and let down. This person is too outcome dependent!

(Can somebody say “Fairy Tale Wedding”?)

To become Outcome Independent is to go into a relationship without expecting a particular outcome where you two will get married and live happily ever after. Relationships don't typically work out that way.

It's important to have goals during a relationship, but don't become emotionally attached to a specific outcome in the relationship.

3) “I Respect the Boundaries of Others.”

Just as much as you like to have your boundaries and privacy respect, so do others! (What a shocker).

Just because someone can be contacted instantly through a text message or phone call, it doesn't mean you have to do it all the time!

So, respect the boundaries of others so they don't feel smothered and overwhelmed!

Ok everyone, I hope that was helpful!

I've made an in-depth video on overcoming neediness, so just click the picture below where you'll learn all the other strategies and mindsets to overcoming neediness!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcJ9FC6Dcrw&t=2s

If you have need any help in your relationships, email me at crizea11@gmail.com and we'll set up a coaching call to get you back on track in your relationships!

Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

-Dr. Chris

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