Pain 4

Almost two weeks ago I had a bike accident. I was afraid to write about it because I didn't know what would come next in my exploration of pain.

This was yet another experience that showed me how much the sensation of pain depends on what the mind thinks about the source of the pain.

I had almost arrived at work, just passed the subway under the highway and about to take as much of my momentum as possible uphill.

Sometimes I had managed to keep up my speed on the small bike trail and not needed to shift down. Eager to do the same thing on that day I stood up and gave the big chainring all the force I got.

Bad only that the chainring was old but the chain was new – and they didn't like each other – and I had totally forgotten that.

SKRANG – the chain went off, I went off balance and immediately impacted the tarmac. Getting up again I assessed the damage: the bike was on the ground, so was my watch, ripped off its wristband. Blood was dripping from my right hand and – oh – there was a hole in my left shinbone – where did that come from? The pedal?

I took a closer look at that white spot on my shin – what was that? I moved the skin left and right – and noticed that the white structure in the middle of the whole didn't move with the skin around it.

Blood started pouring out of that hole and running down my leg into my shoe. In the meantime, my hand continued dripping all over the tarmac.

The pain was not very intense – but the vague feeling that the weird hole in my shin would not fix itself intensified it on a mental level.