Same Same But Different

Is the title of a movie that I saw upon its release in 2009. Back then, it somehow resonated with me and got stuck in my mind. Today, I remembered it and decided to see it again. Time for a recap.

The movie is rather unknown and only aired in small cinemas in Germany. It is based on the true story of a young guy who falls in love with a bar-girl during vacation in Cambodia. Everything else would be a spoiler, so instead of discussing the plot, I'll discuss the feelings the movie gave me.

Back in 2009 I was all romantic about it. I could really relate to Benjamin and was convinced that he was doing the right thing.

Today, right from the beginning, I felt a resistance against this attitude. I thought that Ben was a bit too fast to fall in love with that girl and that love across different economic classes and across different cultures seems almost impossible. (read “stupid”)

All through the movie I had an internal struggle going on. Is he doing something great or something incredibly stupid? I didn't know. It was just chatter in my head.

On the one hand, there was some real love, but on the other hand, there was always some need to be filled, some sort of condition. I don't know if love can really thrive as long as this exists. On the other hand, can we really condemn people by saying that they are “too poor to love”? That as long as they need something from their partner, they cannot really love them?

Maybe love is a lot like friendship in the way that it is never fully unconditional.

In the end, I concluded that being open to fall in love is super powerful. There is no comparison to it. You can't force it and you should take it lightly, but if it happens, it can change the rest of your life, unlike any other decision that you can simply reconsider.

Because once you fall in love, you can only pull through until the end. There is no maybe. There is no going back. That's what Ben also eventually realizes.

And that's what we see all around us. Consider your parents. They probably fell in love at some point and now you are here. That's just how it is.

My colleague told me a sad story yesterday. He was in a relationship for seven years and while it was all good, loving and mutually supportive, eventually, the distance grew, paths diverged and eventually, breaking up was inevitable.

“If you know you want to be with someone, I think you have to be stubborn.”

That's what I've heard in more people's stories. Both in stories of how they ended up where they were happy and in stories of regret.

And that's what I also came to see in Skreykeo. She wanted to be with Ben, so she was stubborn. He was not her best chance for a secure economic situation, he was her best chance for being with someone she really loved. And that's why she kept being stubborn with him, and he, luckily, also kept being stubborn with her.

“We are in the cave now. How many candles do you take with you?”

I think the movie helped me to reconcile the Romantic and the Rationalist within me.

I can be both.

Or can I?