Do therapy sessions over-emphasize or distort my garbage feelings? I don't know. I don't think I've ever felt as bad as I do now, yet I don't always feel bad. I have been more prone to depression and backwards-looking, thinking about all the times I've screwed up relationships and friendships, but then, perpetual guilt has always been present in my thought and something with which I need to do away.
I want to break out of this slump, and in part I want to break out of my shell again. I want to meet new people, see more of the world, even fall in love. I always think, if I just get one more chance, I won't screw up, I won't screw up, I won't. But then I think, I probably will, oh probably. No one punches themselves in the gut more than I do. No one that's still standing, at least.