Here We Go

No, my name is not Flash Ferris. But for purposes of this online diary/blog, Flash Ferris it is. I am not using my real name because well, honestly, there’s a good chance you know who I am. I did some research about a platform to use and settled on, in large part because of its privacy practices. I am surprised this platform is not more well known than it is.

I have decided to keep an online diary because I am tired of my therapist telling me this is a good and healthy thing to do. It’s like a paper journal, but the online and public nature might hold me to some accountability. To who, I do not know. Maybe only to myself. The whole idea seems a little odd to me, but I will progress by writing thoughts that I could never commit to paper or type under my own name.

I have been successful beyond measure, certainly more so than I could have ever dreamed. I’ve made a lot of money. I’ve lost a lot of money. I’ve blown a lot of money. But, I am the personification of money does not buy happiness. In fact, I sometimes make the argument to people close to me that money can speed up unhappiness. That is, if one is inclined to unhappiness, depression, and/or anxiety in the first place. Some might scoff at my ‘problems’ and many would not begin to guess that I even have problems. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors and I can say, without hesitation, that nobody knows what goes on in my life excepting a very select few people. I would say close friends, but in reality I have no close friends. Maybe one. Maybe.

I am an actor. In more ways than one. In order to protect my anonymity, certain things will be changed in this diary, besides my name. I may cheat on locales, etc. But otherwise, I intend to be honest with myself. Much of this won’t be pretty. To think what all I intend to write has happened in one lifetime is almost too much to believe.

I suppose this is enough of an introduction. I will write when I need to write, maybe sometimes when I probably shouldn’t. But here I am and here we go.

Oh, why Retiring From Reality? One, because that’s what I am doing. I am quitting my old reality in order to live. No, I’m not giving up my career or anything else that would be obvious to anyone but me. Of course, I only am retiring from the reality that I am willing to see. In many ways I have no reality except that which lies so deep within that I am only now searching. Maybe it’s the pseudo-reality that I am leaving. See? I’m not even sure myself.