Forced To Observe

Most whip themselves to get the best performance, like a cattle farmer managing swine. And when mistakes are made, we rely on insult and self-depreciation as a tool. 

Instead, we should approach ourselves with questions: What led to this mistake you made? What led you to willfully do wrong?

Question oneself like a witness to a crime. Like a person recovering from amnesia.

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it" – Upton Sinclair

This is a great quote. Its true power is recognized when you substitute the word salary for something else we depend on. Could be ego. Could be confidence. Self-esteem, sense of rightness, right to criticize, ect. 

Its power increases when we turn it into a question:

"How does my lack of understanding of this issue benefit me?"

Another version:

"Does my voluntary ignorance in this situation afford me something that I would lose if I faced reality?"

  1. "Being comfortable making up visions of success, before the methods are clear, is a phenomenal trait to strengthen. Being willing to have ideas, good or bad, and to express and capture all of them without judgment is critical for fully accessing creative intelligence." – Getting Things Done, pg. 271

  2. Often times, the reality comes first, then the beliefs follow. Ex. One gains 30 pounds over time. This person then tailors their beliefs in order to make the 30 pounds not as alarming: " I'm getting older and this happens.  I don't care about vanity anyway." Someone grows up poor: "Rich people are unethical and immoral. Money doesn't buy happiness" 

What beliefs of yours are a result of circumstance, and which ones are a result of conscious decision?

One thing I do that is a significant waste of time is something no one can see. It's something I can do while on the bus, while in a job interview, a meeting, or talking to a new acquaintance.

This thing is not paying attention. Not paying attention can comprise of a million things. My most popular are fantasizing, simulating conversations/events/arguments that will never occur, complaining. What are yours?

The time spent not paying attention could be spent paying attention to the external world rather than project what I'd like or fear to happen. It could be spent really listening to others (and being in a better position to help), cultivating curiosity, going over my Spanish vocabulary, ect.

Weekly Wisdom 9/29

  1. “This is true happiness: to have no ambition and to work like a horse as if you had every ambition. To live far from men, not to need them and yet to love them. To have the stars above, the land to your left and the sea to your right and to realize of a sudden that in your heart, life has accomplished its final miracle: it has become a fairy tale.” – Zorba The Greek
  2. There is no such thing as “not dealing” with an issue. We either deal with them head-on, or in unconscious ways.

Weekly Wisdom 9/9/19

  1. No explanation is owed to those who stand around and watch, unable to fathom your actions.
  2. It's important to have a purpose/underlying reason for anything that is difficult. Inevitably during difficult moments we'll think “Why am I even doing this?” In these moments we must remember why. It could be exercising, reading, or working on something. With a why, we'll last much longer.

What could I have done better this week?

Plan hangouts with friends. Have something planned for weekend because when you don’t you waste the days. You only need a few hours Sat/Sun morning for self improvement. Have something planned at night.

What did I do well?

You exercised by remembering you just need to do something physically intense each day. You also understood not to be a perfectionist and that it’s not over until it’s over. Just because you at garbage doesn’t mean you can’t exercise. You showed proactivity.

  1. There are no “adults” in the sense we think of them. No one knows what they're doing. Stop using this as an excuse for lacking confidence.
  2. “survival of the fittest biology” snail and onto the “survival of the fittest stories” rocket. The above is a line from Wait But Why's A Story of Stories article. I believe this is a secret of success—”survival of the fittest stories”
  3. If you can be it, then you must.

Weekly Wisdom: 8/26

  1. You don't have to feel like working out until you're at the gym. This goes for anything you do. You don't need to feel awake until you're at work. You don't have to feel like it until you're there, in the arena.
  2. If you have the wrong map (or paradigm) of an area, it doesn't matter how disciplined or positive you are.

Weekly Wisdom: 8/24

  1. Reducing friction is easier than adding force.
  2. Do not be naive.
  3. Keep promises to yourself and watch your confidence grow.