Every year we look for “firsts” and “lasts.” First time together on a bus, first Christmas away from the new home, first time Santa called. Last Monday ever at this school, last time you'll see this person, last time you're taking this route.
I tried finding substance in this. The practice of trying to add meaning, or some milestone, to an otherwise normal situation. A situation you're unlikely to remember next year. When exactly was the last time we were on a bus together? Who was that person again? Santa called you say?
The significance is only in the moment itself, soon lost to the next moment, and then the next. Therein lies the answer, we are too busy living life, enjoying the moment, the here and now. This is a good thing.
If there were some kind of enchanted dust we could sprinkle over idiotic people who tell bullshit stories I’d be first in line to buy it.
Listen dick-cheese, nobody believes your story about how you “wrestled a bear with one arm cause your other was caught in a meat grinder, all the while the dog from down the street (who was by some magic in the same vicinity as you, a bear and a meat grinder) was gnawing off the big toe on your left foot, and that is why you cannot use stairs anymore, because you are off-balance.”
You are a fucking idiot. You should be dragged out back and shot.
I am often struck by the tendency of people, to try to impress others, no matter the situation, circumstance or cost. Cost of their own dignity, physical cost and even long-term cost. A few examples:
• A waiter/server who boasts about the restaurants they have worked at, or managed. This to complete strangers who not only do not care (they are just trying to have a meal) but are probably far more successful than the individual to begin with.
• A stranger at the gym injuring themselves, trying to impress other members with what they can (or more accurately cannot) lift.
• People who by cars, clothes and houses far beyond their means, as if someone else cares what they drive. Maybe someone will complement the car, possibly even think about it for a while, and that’s that, they move on. The individual has made a major commitment, and for what?
• People telling hyperbolic stories about their past adventures, probably in the hopes this makes their uneventful lives more attractive or interesting.
To say we find ourselves in strange times is an understatement. Take the US. It's so riddled with social justice (online) warriors, it has literally lost its appeal as an immigration destination. A destination of any kind. Who wants to visit a country where you could find yourself in deep water for calling your wife a woman (cue eye rolls)? Bloody ridiculous!
What about Zimbabwe? A failed state on the brink of secondary failure. Fuck, is that even a thing? No food, fuel, currency, nothing but a lot of nothing. What happens to those poor souls?
South Africa. Still the most beautiful country in the world, certainly in my eyes anyway. What's in store for us? A government talking about handing over ownership of land, without reward or recourse, as if it were the era of crusades.
Not one can deny that there were times in history where some pretty crappy shit went down. People faced countless forms of injustice. Nor can they deny that every nation, race, gender, and creed on earth took part in crappy shit. Are we saying we are just going to roll back the clock? Correct the social wrongs, just like that? Reverse them is it? If we are, then wouldn't that mean it's time for some barbarism while we're at it? In fact, why stop there why not throw in a witch hunt or two? I'm all in for a spot of cannibalism – if not why not?
“Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance,” – Plato.
We live in a world overrun with opinions. Most formed on the back of the opinions of others, spread like a wildfire across social media, little grounded in fact let alone truth. Even facts can be interpreted to reflect a preconceived “truth,” but beliefs are not to be confused with truth.
It is best to teach ourselves, and our children, to steer well clear of opinions, and to dig for truth at all times. It is only through this we can rescue the “age of information,” from the age of ignorance.
“Create a problem and then create the solution.” A common business mantra. Being both the problem and the solution means you become the totem of your industry.
Problem: being found in an uncurated mass of data. Solution: ambiguous procedures based on secret ever-changing algorithms, avoided by auctioning attention.
This is the world of search engines. Genius – if you’re search engines. A never-ending spiral liken to gambling addiction if you are not. How addiction? Well, just like an addiction you need it, even though you know it’s bad for you. Also, like gambling, there are controlled systems designed to “steer” you into channels which complement the house.
When we are asking a question, it is a fair assumption we are either completely ignorant of the answer, can’t remember the information, need clarification, or confirmation of the answer. Therefore, we ask, correct? What then is the bleeding obsession with the argumentative retort?
Could it be people are inherently unhappy with answers they are given; the first reaction is disbelief? Is it there is so much misinformation out there, people can no longer differentiate between bullshit and the real deal? Or is it that there is so much garbage information, they can no longer trust any information at all?
Oddly, I find the first idea to be the least concerning. This just means people are jerks, and we all know this to be true already. Finding methods of counteracting this would not be as challenging as trying to fix the eventual consequences of the last two ideas. If trust in values such as good faith, expert-knowledge, and provider-client relationships are lost, then all is eventually lost. The entire system will break down.
The trouble is, the access to unfiltered information places deeply unqualified people in a position to spread misinformation and opinion, as fact. Although, this is not the real trouble. The real trouble is we are not providing individuals (especially youths) with the tools to sift through, process and recognize what is nonsense. What you end up with is entire generations who find themselves the least informed despite unprecedented access to learning. This is our fault – not theirs. We did this.
With the mania around fake news, it is easy to forget the overabundance of other information available, which is not news related or political of nature. Much of it potentially far more damaging. Even that which isn’t, just adds to the mist, the constant barrage of drivel. Eventually, the mist will be too thick to navigate and what then?
No matter who you are, or who you claim to be, there lives in all of us a latent violence. Granted, its potential release, its final form, and its ferocity will differ wildly from person to person. Nevertheless, it’s there.
Anyone, if pushed hard enough, will snap. In the book The Four Tendencies (by Gretchen Rubin), she describes a group of people she calls the Obligors. Not as negative as it sounds, most of the world are obligors, they are the salt of the earth, and what keeps the system working. As per their namesake, they are eager to please or more accurately to do well. They are the least likely to be tiresome and think of themselves last, placing all others before themselves. But, push them hard enough and they will morph into what she calls obligor rebellion. Again, as per the namesake, they are no longer as eager to please.
What she is describing in her behavior observations, is the inborn tendency to abscond. The violence in us is like this. We strive to keep it at bay at all times because we want to do well. There is no space for the gunslinger in the modern world, nor do we lynch people on a whim anymore. There is no space for violence at all. The very definition of violence is being broadened daily.
If all of this is true where does that leave us? Especially those who harbor larger caches of violence. Those who have higher tendencies to abscond and those whose violence could become murderous. The answer is surely not a simple one. Locking them all away would be impossible let alone futile. Medicating them is proven useless and eradicating them would be unacceptable based on the very primary of non-violence. Who would get to decide who gets to stay and who must go?
No matter who you are, or who you claim to be, there lives in all of us a latent violence. Who decides?
So, what then is the supposed fascination with celebrities? Ask 10 people and you’ll get 10 answers, ranging from our ingrained fear of death (which is clearly ridiculous) to low self-esteem, and susceptibility due to childhood trauma. I submit this is all mostly nonsense and that the answer is something far simpler than this. It is both a hierarchy and political issue.
If you look up, in the sense of a hierarchy, you will learn from those above you. Learn from what they have achieved and how they did it. This is true too when you look up, in the sense of parenting, teaching, adulthood and anywhere there is a master-student dynamic. Observe others and you will learn from them. This is not revolutionary. It is widespread in nature and like it or not, we still form part of nature.
But if the answer lies in looking up why then celebrities? Why not uncle Bob from down the road? Two reasons: celebrities are successful (in many respects although seldom to the level of perception) and this places them front and centre. In other words, they are far more difficult to ignore than uncle Bob from down the road. Second, along with the ingrained need to learn we all harbour a deep-seated resentment for those who have more than us. This leads to looking up at them while secretly revelling in their mistakes and failures. It’s a double-edged sword.
The second reason we follow celebrities is closely related to learning, it is political, or societal. They occupy a space where they have the attention of others and are perceived to be successful in the social dynamic. We think people like them. To fit in and be valued you need to… fit in. Emulating people who are doing this well, will drastically improve your chances of success.
To understand why we are fascinated with celebrities we must be honest with ourselves. Honest about human-nature. As a society, many of the traits we harbour are deemed undesirable and so we work hard at concealing them, ignoring them, and denying we experience them. Unfortunately, in reality, they still exist and will continue to do so. Designed to give us maximum chance of survival, it is unlikely we will evolve to exclude them, no matter how distasteful we believe them to be.
If you are Gen X or Millennial-with-wear, you'll know what I'm talking about. Cartoons. No, not animations nor anime. I'm referring to cartoons. Cartoons we ate breakfast too. Tom and Jerry, Mickey Mouse, Road Runner, Bugs Bunny...
Accept possibly Mickey Mouse – who somehow still delivers the goods today – there seems to be but a few ingredients required to deliver a sure-fire winner. I know this to be true by watching what attracts my 3-year-old today. It might not be the old classics I’ve mentioned, but the modern versions who follow the same structure end up being victors.
There seems to be just the right combination of dramatic music and “action.” That’s it. There needn’t even be dialog. Music plus action and it attracts our fresh little ones now, the same way it attracted us back then.
Of course, a healthy dose of bad guy misfortune doesn’t hurt (think poor old Wile E). One other thing: it needs to be in the hand-drawn format. Why exactly this resonates better I have yet to figure out. Much like this post, it is pointless to ponder.