gemihartojo

an enigma in a conundrum

Cutting Losses.

It's a big subject for me. Because there are still projects out there in my ether that I am passionate no longer. But I don't want to admit it. Letting go of a baby that spurred my passion and will to get out of my seat to make it what it is today – a content filled Website filled with information and stories that made us, at the time, so excited. My partner, who once was so passionate about it, has also left it because I too have left it hanging. But every so once in a while, we revisit it. I am currently paying the domain and the registered service, which, sheepishly, I admit it am not keeping up with the billing and administration. I have been toying with closing changing where I do business and move it to North Carolina, but I am so lazy and don't feel justified to spend my time or my money on that. But, I know after much reflection that if I don't minimize the cost on this, then really consider selling my share to my partner (which honestly I think she would gladly take and probably be able to make it super successful). But it's my baby. And it is so hard for me to let it go.

Listening to Greg McKeown in his book essentialism, I learned this feeling is ingrained in our mind never to waste time. It's what he is calling Sunk-cost bias. It is the tendency to continue to invest time, money, or energy into something we know is a losing proposition simply because we have already incurred, or sunk a cost that cannot be recouped.

I need a come-to-moment with myself, “If I weren't already invested in this project, how much would I invest in it now?” What else could I do with this time or money if I pulled the plug now?”

And here is my answer. I wouldn't invest a quarter of the money that I invested already. If I were to cut my losses now, it would greatly benefit the audience because if my partner took over, she could do a better job with it than I. And I could save close to 1K per year on all the on-going costs. And it would free up my mind letting go of my past to work on the new projects that interest me.

Hmm. It looks like I made up my mind here. So what is my next step? I need to clean up some stuff on my end and make a simple proposal. Any money offered at this point will be a profit.

Let's me check in with you guys and let you know how it goes.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Stumbling, falling, and having embarrassing pancake moments, creates a history, uniquely tied to me. Ha! I think how amusing my mistakes are to my Creator. And I know I am just a creation, so ultimately I'm flawed and perfectly imperfect. And yet, I am only now becoming acutely self-aware of myself and how unique I am. How my work, thinking, and actions impact others. I didn't realize nor understand that power. All these years I brushed it aside and took myself for granted and honestly thought everyone else can and is doing it. The thing is, we all are unique and have a power that is unlike the other. It's just that some are more self-aware of that power and use it for greatness, to help others and to create more impact. What I am getting here is, I have been underselling myself for years. And I am asking you, not that you are, to not do what I have been doing. Go and become the best version of yourself because those around you need you to be you.

To get there though, you will need to work hard in peeling back the onion of bad habits, self-loathing and I-am-not-good-enough attitude. This is, unfortunately, a painful and cringingly uncomfortable process but it is this work that allows yourself to become you. I know, because it is helping me become the leader that I have always been. I have been driving myself crazy getting here. But it's this drive, this yearning to learn, to hone my craft as a strategist, marketer, technologist, and coach that I now realize, is the key to where I am today. It's the constant stretching myself into doing things, experiencing things, connecting with those outside my own self has prepared me for what's to come.

So, what's to come? I honestly don't know. But I do know that it is something exciting and delicious. Do you want to come with me on my journey?

I have made a conscious decision to write a short post of what I learned and what I'd like to do differently tomorrow. I am using a couple of prompts and nudges from books such as the Holy Quran by Allah SWT, Essentialism by Greg McKeown, Say What You Mean – a mindful approach to nonviolent communication by Oren Jay Sofer, The Productive Muslim by Mohammad Faris, The Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier. These are a lot of resources and many of them I have read before getting on here to “lay it all out”. These books are meant to help me reflect and learn. The Holy Quran is my guiding light and the other books are excellent people based sources of those who have traveled this path already.

Truth is. I am scared of this commitment. I am by no means a writer. I am a novice at putting my thoughts to paper but, I am committed to growth that helps me fulfill my potential as a human and in turn have the capacity to help others grow.

It's Isha. I'll see you all tomorrow.

Wassallam (Peace and blessings) Gemi

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