I remember the first time I felt like it may be to deep to handle. A guy named Joey who I had crossed paths with was sitting across the room in a dope house. He looked at me tired, I was nauseous and nodding in and out of cotiounsness. He said are you alright?.. I looked at him cause I knew he could see it.. I was sick.. I dont mean in the since of dope sick god knows I had plenty to make it another day or two. I was sick of this life everyday getting off work. Having to go to these places to hide from my loved ones so they wouldn't have to see me kill myself slowly.. sick of that feeling creeping up on me that if I dont call him to drop it off I'll have to drive and wait in the car for him to show up so I can just go to sleep and pass another day by.. he looked worse than me maybe just a couple of more years of the life style.. maybe just one more car wreck or deal gone bad that left him stretched a little longer than he could handle without detoxing... I looked at him and said how long have we been here.. “I've only been here 20 minutes” he said I said no.. it's been years.. He looked at me and dead in the eyes and said “oh that.. yeah buddy..we've been going a long time” you have to understand that in this moment in the middle of all the madness 2 strangers had a connection.. the conversation split into 2 separate planes of existence. One direction it was just the same old shit. The other was a road of honesty and open heartedness between 2 junkies who had done things seemingly unforgivable and downright destroying to there lives and loved ones.. I was ready to have that conversation that day.. and I've never talked to him again.. I live a good life while writing this today.. but sometimes I still feel sick and I think about these moments