I no longer look up to those who have taken more psychedelics than me, either via more trips or higher doses.

First because I am experienced enough. I have had my experiences.

Second because I am more sensitive — apparently. A dose that is low for someone else provides very strong effects for me.

Third because their insights don’t seem to produce a better life. They don’t seem to make them happier, healthier, stronger, kinder, or anything like that.

Psychedelics are basically rolling the dice on your mind. They can make weird connections. There’s no guarantee those connections are going to be good ones.

Psychedelics make sense when you are suffering dreadfully. When you are so bogged down by trauma, by mental sickness, by negative thought patterns, that you need a reset.

But they are not the key to truth. They are not the key to self improvement. They are not a magic bullet. They are just as negative as they are positive.

My friend who I was mystified by for so long

— why, despite taking psychedelics so frequently, does he only care to travel, have short term (often mildly coercive) hookups, and make money —

I no longer see as seeing some “hard truths” I am blind to and being smarter/better than me.

Nope. He is either traumatised and deserving of my pity, and/or led astray by psychedelics and convinced his mindset of “dog eat dog” and “only power matters” is the ultimate truth of reality.

I don’t need to do psychedelics again. I’m quite sure of that. Only if I get into a terrible mindset again and rolling the dice makes sense.