It does not matter what I am anxious for. Maybe the decaf I thought I had, wasn't actually decaf. Maybe I haven't exercised enough recently. Maybe I've been ruminating unnecessarily. Perhaps I've had a little dose too much of philosophical pessimism.

You are in a playground where everything can go wrong for a reason. Where when you're dead, you're dead. Where you can suffer just as much as you can experience joy. Although, you can experience more joy than pain. There's no forcing function ensuring that you'll be dealt out an equal dose of pain for every bit of pleasure, or the other way around.

Monsters are real in this place. Also, this place can be made way better.

Why not try to build something that outlasts me? Leave a good impression on others' lives? Ease some suffering?

Take your self-hatred, your judgement, your anxiety, and your depression lightly. Get the effects of alcohol or entertainment without needing to indulge in them.

If depression is the price to pay for being aware of suffering, so be it. Just don't let it paralyse you. I think it's a worthy price to pay. Feel a bit more sad but be able to reduce the suffering of others.

A sorrow shared is a sorrow halved, it feels like – even if sharing the sorrow makes the receiver a little sadder. And joys shared are joys doubled, too – mostly. Or some of the time.

There is no way to measure life. We can't tell if something is important or not, good or bad. Pain is a pretty good signal, most of the time – but seeking a moderate level of discomfort is actually a pretty good way to live.

If you only seek comfort, life will become scary and bleak. If you seek to reduce your own pain, and the pain of others, though – I think you can do a fair amount of good.

And the good you do is real – precisely because everything can go wrong.If suffering and decay and death are real, then that actually makes their opposites real.

What if rather than my good actions causing bad things to happen (a ridiculous belief in the first place), my good actions are the required balance to a world where many bad things happen?

What problems do I get distressed by?