Memories - No More Titles Required
Memories are the impactful non-living creature that arcs and dips on crests and troughs of life.
As a human being, I have always been a part of something that made me curious. Recently my curiosity turned to knowledge and I started to read more and turned that curiosity into habits. It is still hard for me to maintain in my everyday life when professional work populates my day.
These practices that I am following are helping me to keep my memories strong and flexible. As we know, our mind is an extraordinary part that stores, responds and manages all the information that we receive in our daily life. In this article, let's crack it open to understand, how much memories matter in our life and how it affects us to live out life and our organs to work so tirelessly.
Memories has 2 pathways,
- Memories that have unpleasant feelings.
- Memories that have good feelings.
Most of the time with the given time, memories with unpleasant feelings fade away or never told publicly. This is because we forget them or there is a probability that we feel sad even if we remember them. The second one is a little different, memories that have good feelings are quite exceptional ones. It will never fade away unless we choose to forget them. It always stays in our life in every step by reminding how we felt at the time.
Preserving memories are important and this is mostly an experience that cannot be explained. One's memory can be shared with others but it can never be experienced. As human beings, we can choose to live our life with love filled with memories or with achievements that are filled with struggles.
My Story
I am not saying that achievements don't have emotions or memories, I am saying that having love in our life helps us to accumulate lots of memories that are filled with emotions. Once we set to work hard and dedicate our lives to focus on goals, we can only see the pathway of those goals not the memories and emotions around it.
In our journey, we can take the chance to love someone as well as achieving our goals along the way. I have a small experience in my life related to it. I have a friend who is best of all and my most loved person in my life, we both set out to achieve great things in life. We stayed together for 3 years. We walked, rode, searched, traveled and dreamt of achieving big and accomplishing great things. When things started to feel good, we started to work toward setting our career and concentrated on earning money rather than hitting the bullseye and build the network of people that earns us respect.
We left everyone around us and neglected their words of experience. Earned experience and lost our life in between. Things started to work for us well but by the time we understood our mistakes, it was too late to go back and start over. We just paused the focus toward our goal. That pause led us to a complete failure that burned our company to ashes. After that, we both went our separate ways by burying those good memories inside our hearts.
She stopped understanding me and I stopped talking to her. That beautiful story of us where we never left each other for a moment even when we had no food to eat, no place to stay and no one to console. Sometimes it is hard to forget this kind of memory. My shoulders were her couch and her hands were my healer of pain at the hardest times. We refused to give up on each other even the whole world gave up on us and pushed to the gutter. I remember this memory every day of my life. Those beautiful moments when we were eating ice-cream at the time after we fight and asking sorry to each other. I still remember those times when I was stubborn to eat pizzas.
I was acting like I got sick just to demand her to buy me a pizza to eat. Those times when we went shopping for clothes, I was the one finalizing her dresses and she was selecting clothes for me. The times we also ate Panipuris at the roadside. The time when I came back from Mumbai after 20 days of staying away from her, her eyes were filled with tears and the hug that stamped in my head forever as the sweetest and the beautiful memory of my life. We never stopped loving each other and still, we do. Due to some consequences, we had to get separated. We will never see or talk to each other again in life.
This memory of mine includes the sweetest and the hardest as well. But, when time passes and we live each day, only happy memories exist by chipping off bad ones. The coolest memory gives us strength and the love we feel from those memories are the real motivators that help us to succeed in life. Making those memories as a basement, we can build any kind of buildings that stands tall even when disaster happens in life. Storing memory out of love is the best thing to move on in life and building life that helps people around us.
Love makes us weak as well. It is a distraction for life to achieve. But when that love turns into a memory, it becomes the foundation of success. We also call this as positive disintegration - It is the situation that occurs to the person when he/she undergoes immense pain due to love - similar to break up.
Find the path that works better in life. Preserve memories that matter to you and remove those that caused you pain. Forgive those who caused the pain and learn from the experience. Think life like a mathematical problem - good memories are the constants that balance both sides of the equation that lead to the equilibrium. Choose the constant that balance your life that grows. Always keep good memories and leave bad ones or give it some time so that it will fade away itself.
How to accelerate the removal of bad memories?
To remove bad memories of the past, all you have to do is to follow these simple steps. These worked for everyone who I told about and for me as well.
- Start Meditating every day
- Forgive the person every day
- Visualize the situation and consider yourself in their situation
Meditation is the most effective stage but it takes time to compare to the other two. Visualization is the powerful and the fastest way to forgive a person and let go of the bad memory. Forgiveness is the middle of both. When all 3 followed each day, this gives exceptional results. You can start seeing results in a week.
Once it is done, if we are consistent and cultivate this as a habit, we start to be better versions of ourselves each day.
Suggestion: Forgiving a person doesn't mean you have to talk to them. Talking to them again will push you back in the loop of those memories.
Live life with memories that matter. Forgetting memories are almost impossible to ask. You can only control the thoughts about the memories. Learning to control them is a task that can be achieved by forgiving yourself and others. If it is a good memory, preserve the person and the moments you spent with them forever. Sometimes, teardrop for that person is not a bad thing as well.
Never stop loving the person you love the most because, their memories are the ones that keep you in check with your focussed goals. It doesn't matter who stays with you, only matters is that memories of the person is in your heart as long as you are alive.
Thanks for reading and please follow to see more of the articles like this in the future. Feel free to share your memories with me. I love to interact with people who share and express themselves.
This article will also be published in medium.com and harithsanotes.substack.com
Keep reading and preserve good memories.