We all know anger. It is a human emotion that happens to all of us. But when it increases or becomes difficult to control, it causes problems. Whether it is problems at work or in personal relationships with others, ultimately it results in useless losses, so it is essential to know how to manage it properly.

What are the reasons that lead to anger?

Causes of anger

Before thinking about appropriate ways to manage or control anger, it is essential to know what is causing it. Understanding the causes leads to ways to root the problem in the first place, rather than the possibility that it will repeat itself every time. Causes of anger can be divided into two parts:

External causes

Most offense occurs due to external reasons, such as a problem at work or a specific person's disagreement.

Internal causes

Anger can also occur due to other internal feelings, such as anxiety, anticipation, or a long wait, as these feelings cause anger.

In the end, whatever the causes lead to anger, and then the individual chooses the appropriate way to express his anger towards what is happening. The method differs from person to person according to the nature of his personality and the situation he is in now.

There are three main ways in which people express their anger: express, suppress, and calm.

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1 – Expressing anger

The best, of course, is to express feelings of anger in a firm, not aggressive, manner by undoubtedly sharing personal feelings and needs without trying to blackmail or threaten others.

2- Anger suppression

Anger can be suppressed, meaning it can be controlled and not disclosed while at the same time working on converting it into something else. For example, you are doing a heart-warming activity. The danger with this method is that it may cause internal problems, such as high blood pressure or depression.

Also, ignoring the people causing the problem, instead of telling them the reason or confronting them, may lead to a question in relations with them, and this may lead to the loss of the person's right as a result of ignoring the situation and thus not knowing about it by others.

3- Calming anger

The final method for managing anger depends on controlling external and internal reactions. This is what helps prevent internal problems while at the same time feeling calm.

Tips

1- relax

Although this method is simple, it plays an influential role with anger and helps calm emotions. When you know the different relaxation techniques, this will improve your management of the different angry situations you are going through. And if you are in a relationship with a quick-tempered partner like yourself, you can both learn and apply these techniques together.

Deep breathing: Try to take the breath deep from the diaphragm, or as it is called “full breath,” meaning as far as you can reach.

Soothing words: While trying to breathe deeply, try to repeat soothing words, such as: calm down slowly, relax.

Using pictures: Try to visualize the relaxation experience, whether by relying on your memory or your imagination.

Non-strenuous exercises: Try non-strenuous exercises that are similar to yoga to help relax your muscles.

These techniques will not take you any time or effort because they are simple, so make sure to practice them daily to get used to them all the time and use them in situations of danger that you are going through.

2- Restructure your knowledge of emotions

You can change your mindset. Instead of letting excessive thoughts take over you, you can replace this with more rational thoughts. For example, don't tell yourself, “Nothing can be fixed anymore.” Instead, say, “I understand that I feel bad about the current situation, but it's not the end of the world, and my anger won't fix anything.”

It is essential to pay attention to the words you say when talking about yourself or anyone else. Do not use words like “never” or “always.” They are not exactly things to describe, and they also make you feel that your anger is justified and that ca not fix the current situation. Reason defeats anger, so try to remind yourself of that all the time.

3- problem-solving

Sometimes the cause of anger is very justified, as there are actual problems in our life that can not be escaped. Therefore, responding to these difficulties is understandable, and so is the search for a solution to the current problem. But don't burden yourself to believe that there is always a solution to all questions.

So, instead of thinking directly about a suitable solution, direct your thinking to the problem and how to address it. Create a plan to help you progress. If you do not get the best result, do not punish yourself and think that you will not get what you want. Instead, you understand the progress that is happening, and you are taking steps to do so.

4- improve communication with others

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In anger, you find yourself tempted to draw and act on conclusions, and some of these conclusions are often never accurate. So, instead of doing it with others and saying the first thing that comes to mind, think carefully about what you want to say, listen carefully to other people's words and try to understand them, taking the time you wish to before responding.

Try to understand why he is angry with others and what you would like to have, and then share that with them. The more they can understand you well, the more likely they can provide the reaction that suits you. Otherwise, you cannot blame them for a similar response.

5- change the environment around you

The surrounding environment often causes anger, whether because of the problems that occur or the size of the responsibilities we bear, which causes us to feel a negative impact that leads us to more anger. So, you can consider changing your environment as much as possible when you get angry.

It is also essential to get some “personal time” during the day, especially moments that you feel will be stressful for you. For example, some mothers have a firm rule of thumb that They return home from their work, so no one should talk to them until they enter a state of calm and can deal with children's requests appropriately.

6- Deal with the situation differently

Instead of dealing with things the traditional way, which usually leads to the anger you want to control, you can have a different approach to the current situation. Three methods can help you change the way you react to a problem:

Change of timing: If you find that at a particular time, you are in a state of fatigue, for example, when you finish your work, and you are used to disagreeing with your partner when you discuss anything during this time. You can change the timing and have conversations at another time during which you are quieter, in which case you will find your ability to manage the situation better.

Finding alternatives: In many cases, specific options cause anger. For example, you may become accustomed to falling out with your partner when discussing anything on the phone. Think of the discussion that would be better when you meet face to face. When you choose an alternative to the current situation, this often changes the outcome.

Avoidance: This is the final form of changing how you handle the situation by avoiding it altogether if available. You don't need to face all situations, especially when your case does not allow, so the best here is to prevent them now or forever if that is possible.

Anger management requires a lot of effort, and you may experience failure during this, but it is vital. This will help you maintain good relationships with others, and it will enable you to keep your healthy and handle situations appropriately.

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