My partner has been thinking about applying for a job in another part of the state, which I fully support since he’s extremely unhappy in his current position (and has been for some time).
Related: a good time-waster for me is to go to Zillow and look up houses for sale in the area where we could potentially move. The city we currently live in is super expensive compared to the new one, so in theory we’d be able to get more house for our money. I love house hunting—online, at least. The real thing is so stressful.
On another note: I’m *this* close to being able to officially talk about the thing that I oh-so-helpfully and vaguely wrote about previously. haha what a word salad. More to come soon, fingers crossed.
I have a lot on my plate at the moment with work, but this is an exciting time right now. New opportunities and new experiences that will hopefully work out for me.
What I don't have time for is the same old psychological baggage that keeps rearing its ugly head every weekend. Yeah, relationships are hard, but have you tried bashing your head against an emotional brick wall lately? It's so much fun!
Finally got my covid booster today. I’d had at least three appointments previously that I cancelled for various reasons (illness, anxiety, procrastination). But finally had to get it done and now it is and I’m relieved. Arm is sore, of course, but I’ll live.
After so many years of therapy (years), I continue to marvel at how I still struggle with something as basic/complex as anxiety. Basic, in the sense that I know what my triggers are and I know how to reframe negative thoughts, avert a panic attack, etc. But complex in the sense that my anxiety feels like it’s ever evolving and that makes it scary to me.
I’m also realizing what a privilege it feels like, being able to a) attend therapy at all b) afford to pay for it and c) have access to vaccines. I feel lucky/fortunate in many ways and try my hardest not to take these things for granted.
Watching the news yet again and wishing that the horrible violence against Ukraine would end. I don't know what I was thinking when this started, but I foolishly thought it would be over soon. And still it continues.
I'm far away in a different country and I wish I could do something to help. I donated to charities and I know that helps a little, but it's an intangible, insignificant drop in the ocean when no one sees an end in sight. Too many people dying. So much unprovoked violence, sorrow, and death.
I'm not smart enough to understand the complexities of politics and history. I just know that it's so wrong what's happening and I wish my hardest for peace.
Today is the anniversary of the day my divorce was finalized.
I have it on my calendar for every year. I don't “celebrate,” exactly—no cake and presents. But I like to acknowledge the day because this is the day that I felt really free.
In recent years, I've been thinking of changing my last name back to my family name. At the time of the divorce, I just kept it because I didn't want to go through all the legal hoops to change my name back. It was just easier to keep it.
But the older I get, the more I think of my family name as a truer representation of who I am. I think it's just a matter of time till I change it back.