What is it that renders me so angry about my neighbor's new back porch light? I have only owned this house for 32 days and I have barely been in it for 14, and for 10 of those I have had a nice, dark back yard in which to sit in. In fact, it was fantastically dark; so dark that K remarked to me in one of our odd moments of peace, I can't believe how many stars you can see here, compared to Uptown. I love this new house. I want my dark, perfect back yard back. And to get it I'm going to have to go and teach my gay neighbors a thing or two about tolerance.