Justcloudysky

‧₊✜˚.

03/22/2024

Hello, Kiya. This is Bunda.

You must be surprised to see this letter...because this is my first time.

Time flies so fast, right? I still remember the time when you were a student in elementary school. While holding her light blue bag tightly, a young girl with puffy eyes asked me carefully to protect her. Without telling stories or explaining in more detail, you always ask without conditions, if you don't mind. A bright girl who had to endure the fun of her childhood due to several situations. Two years later the girl grew up to become a student at junior high school.

New uniforms, new friends, and a new environment. Bunda's little girl must be willing to separate from her older brother to pursue an education and go her own way. Kiya remember? Kiya always told me that school was fun and the new environment was very impressive. Every morning you always have to go to school by bus or subway so you can't eat well. I was worried when you had to walk home late in the afternoon because there was no bus or you ran out of money. Every time someone offers help, you always refuse because you're afraid of causing trouble. I don't know whether that was the real reason or there was another reason until one day you canceled taking additional lessons. That's when I started to know, yes Kiya I already knew.

Sorry. I found out everything too late. At that time I thought the reason you were reluctant to explain everything was because you were protecting my feelings. That's why I am also silent and wait until you tell everything yourself. But that day never came, and you were always silent about everything. I understand Kiya, I really can't help anything even now.

I'm so sorry...

I was frustrated sometimes by how silent you were, but sometimes I was glad because you did that to relieve my concern.

I am always proud of how smart you are, how can you solve your problem with plenty of ideas, and how you always try to understand others more than yourself.

Kiya remember? In the past, Athar always complained to me because you sometimes bothered him or you were very difficult to warn. Until in some situations, you are suddenly ill and are absent for several days. At that time, I knew, you would feel very guilty towards Athar because you didn't want to listen to his advice. You were even reluctant to open the door if Athar didn't ask you to. You know, Kiya, your older brother is the person who is most worried if something happens to you. Athar will blame himself because he feels he is not good at looking after his younger sibling. Even though you said Athar was always angry and reluctant to play with you, he was the first person who would feel hurt if you started crying.

Thought day when you two fight and don't talk for a week? Athar came to me and cried, apologized, and asked me to check on your condition, who was sick at that time. I felt that it was quite an adorable and touching moment. You two are my most valuable treasure. My children are the ones I love most in this world. I hope that you will always be open and love each other.

Thank you, my children. Thank you for making me your mother. Even though my presence is very rare for you. And even though I haven't fulfilled your mother's role completely.

I'm sorry, Kiya. I'm so sorry.

Sometimes the situation makes you so frustrated that you ask to come with me and leave everything there. I apologize for leaving Kiya and Athar just like that. Letting you face everything with your own feet and hands. Don't try to give up again, Kiya. Understand?

I know that Kiya has been through a lot. Didn't count how many times Kiya cried and felt devastated. Thinking about that, makes me feel bad. But you always come to me with a big warm smile. It's not all easy, but I feel grateful whenever you tell me that you're happy in several situations. Seeing Athar and Kiya happy is the most precious moment in my life. I felt so relieved. I think I was born to be your mom. I love you, my precious daughter, you're the best.

Thank you for always trying to survive, thank you for wanting to be my child. Thank you for growing up and becoming a strong figure until now. Stay healthy and happy always, mom is here if you need it.