day off today. tomorrow i start 6 days in a row. it is always tiring but somehow i make it to the end. somedays i am ok and others the idea of going back to the house and no one is there is soul crushing. i cant avoid coming home as i have creatures to look after. it still is hard to look over and not see him sitting in his chair.
todays goal is to try and get the table cleared off and hopfully the coutertop, and finish the floors. friend of mine who checks up on me wanted to come over and help me sort out the house. i cant let her come over . i am so embarrased on how the house looks.
i also want to finish my penpal postcard. its been really hard to get back into making it. my mind has been so blank since brent died. like when ruth died i lost my creative mojo. it took a year for my creative mojo to come back. i cant force it. grief is something you have to work through on your own. i am hoping it comes back soon. but until then will work on my quilt i just pick a block i like and make it.
i also need to do some repotting of a couple of plants, that wont take too long. just need to remember to do it. then iron a few more scrub tops, and pack up another bag of brents clothes for donation. i am doing it a bit at a time. its so hard. some days i am feeling like i am throwing him away out of my life. i know its just clothes, but he was so proud to look good for me.