i down loaded another blanket pattern last night. i will make it. i am not sure who will get it now. maybe just leave it in my will. i have not talked to any of my nieces or nephews in over 10 yrs. i would not know them if i met them on the street. none of my siblings have bothered to send pictures of them. my sister finally told me she had a 3rd child when he was about 2 yrs old. nice eh. she is my sister and could not be bother to tell me she was going to have a baby. this is the type of family i deal with. i used to send xmas cards with pictures every year to my family. we used to visit at least twice a year. we would stay at my ex's parents house . when i would call to let them know that we were in town they where always too busy. so i gave up and just stopped calling , stopped writing. i used to miss them. not sure how i feel now, empty i guess more than anything. when i say i dont have a family, i really dont anymore. i would imagine my funeral attendance will be pretty sparse if any at all.

today we went for a walk on a forest trail. most of it was flat so generally good walking for me. had to put on long pants in case of ticks. it was good to get out and get away from the house. some days its so depressing here. with the fighting with the neighbours and not being able to see the grandkids i just want to die.

the fight with the neighbours started when he got remarried and his wife decided that she wanted to know where the property line was. so they paid for a survey and all that. ok fine. we moved what we had to and rebuilt the stairs and landing at the top and thought that would be the end of it. but no. they had the survey people out again and we are over the survey line by about 1.5 in in one spot. on top of all that they are willing to go to court over this. i just want to pound the living crap out of them both. they have never spoken to either of us and yet judge on how we have our yard etc. i am so sick of all this . it has been going on now about 2 yrs. probably why i am so depressed most of the time. i have no desire to be here anymore.

i did however spend a little time on my art pages. i spend days forcing myself to do things so i dont sit in my chair all day and do nothing. i made muffins today to use up some bananas and they turned out great. tomorrow i am going to make the fruit cake. i divided the recipe into thirds and will try and make only one loaf. with this heat i dont want to make much more. the frig is never big enough for all i want to make. some days i wish i had a walk in frig.

i think i have sold 3 more birds. a pair and a single to the lady i am getting the bunny from. i am still trying to mark the pair. its always the same one on the nest. i have a couple more days so hopfully i can sort it soon......