i have been trying to start this entry for days. but with all the appts and work and looking after brent. i have not had much time for anything else. yesterday was his MRI. we wont know the results for at least a week. we also talked to his cancer dr in a telephone call for about a half hour. we will be talking to him again next week. he has several options for treatment. i dont know which he will choose. he keeps saying just let me die. i say well ok but it will be a long slow painful one. i dont think he believes me. he still needs to get blood work done . he cant get into the lab with out a wheel chair now and we dont have one yet. i think he may also need a walker.
me on the other hand , well i am kind of coping. good days and bad days mentally. phyisically not so good as i am running up and down stairs all day. i hit the ground running from the time i get up until the time i go to bed. no time for a short nap or rest and recovery. so i am in alot more pain all the time. so i am taking more pain meds. and of course i still have to go to work. no choice.
i still have all the chores to do and to make sure i can get as much done as i can during the day. but there are times when i just cant do anything because of the pain and fatigue. so i have to stop and just go to bed. last night i went to bed at 730. i think brent was hoping for a conversation, but i fell asleep instead. i was that tired. i warned him though i was having a hard time staying awake. today will be very long as i am working until 9.
back for a bit....i wanted to check on brent and make him some dinner but he refused anything new. was still working on what i made for him at lunch time.
i worry so much when i am not home. i have a long evening ahead and will be even more tired when i get home. i am going to try and get home asap.
i have to feed the birds and check on brent again before i go back out. will post so i dont forget....