i have no idea how i did the alone time 40 yrs ago. i would spend weeks and months alone while my ex husband was away with his job. i would go weeks without talking to anyone in person. i would stay home all the time and never go anywhere. my ex never once encouraged me to go make friends, go take a class,etc. i am finding the alone time now too much. after having brent around all the time i miss seeing him in his chair. i have not sat in his chair at all. not once. the cats have, the rabbit has, but not me. another day of not talking to anyone. i wanted to put on my facebook page that if anyone wanted to chat i am here, but i didnt i thought it would look too desperate...so i did some dishes.
today is my day off. i took out the garbage, did some dishes and cleaned the cages and aviary, some wash, and took a shower and got my uniform ready for tomorrow. its going to be a very long day tomorrow as i have a staff meeting before work. will have to make sure all food and water is topped up.
all the birds have been put away...and light is off.
friday morning. i work evenings today. i a few things to do before work. i will be gone all day so i will be very tired when i get home.
i am not sure if i should give up messaging people. they seem to wonder away during the chat and never come back. just makes me feel more alone than ever. still have not heard from the kids. i sure miss seeing the grandkids. its been so long.
i will need to go out and start the car soon. its cold here and it drives better when warmed up.
its sunday morning now.
i have to go out and do a couple of errands. i was going to to them yesterday but we had a snow storm. so i stayed home and some things around here, but not a whole lot. just find it hard to even get started on things these days.
i dont want to cook. the smell of food is upsetting to my stomach. reminds me of when i was pregant.
i am trying to use up some sock yarn so i will pick up my needles and finish the sock i am working on now. no idea how many more socks i will knit, i just want to use up the yarn and then i will stop for now. i am still going through the boxes in the basement and finding some yarn to give away. will have another go at it later on today. i want to fill another bag for a friend.
i did the bunny and budgie cages this morning. i have cat litter to take out and dishes to do. the neighbour snow blowed for me again yesterday. so i will be making more muffing....not sure of the flavour this week.
still no one to chat with today. its so quiet and i am feeling out of sorts today. i sleep away the hours mostly because it helps me forget i am alone. i look over at his chair and know it will be forever empty.....