its my day off and i really have not done much. i had planned on doing the cages and aviary this morning. got chatting with my son for 2 hours. then while i was having breakfast he comes by for me to meet his new dog. he was here for about an hour. finally remembered to give him his mail , there was a big pile of mail i managed to get the cat boxes done and one cage. everyone is fed and watered in the back room. i managed to brush the bunny some more. he was a little more relaxed about it. will try and do a little more tomorrow. poor thing is going to be almost bald by the time i am done. apollo the rabbit follows me around like a puppy . he allows me to pick him up but only on his terms, like cats. but i can catch him and carry him when i need to.

it was raining this morning too so never got my seeds planted. when it cools off later i might go out and do that, if i remember.

i got some dishes done and made some lunch. i also cut some more pieces for the quilt. it takes a long time to do the prep for the sewing, but right now all i have is time. no where to go and no one to see. my uniform is ready for tomorrow. so a quick shower before bed tonight and i am done.

i often wonder what my life will be like a year from now, a month from now or even a week from now. i cant see me planning anything even after the lock down. dont want to disappoint myself.

i still have laundry to bring upstairs and jars to bring downstairs. i just dont have the ambition to do it. not big jobs but just ones that need to be done. its like i still need to uncover the single bed . i am giving lauren the boxspring for her day bed. the rest of the bed i will put on the curb i guess. i have no use for it. it was brents before he met me. once we got together i dont think he used it again.

it was only 9 short years that we had together. i will always remember him as a good man. he was good to me and treated me with love. no one is perfect, i know he had faults. but he was perfect for me. i would like someone in my life again but i also know that want and need are two different things. if i ever meet another man he will have to work very hard to convince me to let him into my life.

i find this time of day the hardest. its early evening. when brent and i would sit outside and have a tea or coffee and chat about the day. or just sit and look at the trees and flowers. the dwarf iris are blooming and many dandilions in the back yard. should keep the bees going for a while. i am seeing the wild pansies all over the yard. there are forget me knots too. lupins are everywhere and some have a flower stock. soon they will bloom too. the cherry bushes have so many flowers this year. maybe i will get enough to make some jam. i cut all the chives and dried them. i am sad brent will not see this again i am sad he will not have the joy of growing something with his hands. he took great pride in making the yard and gardens look the best they could. i will do my best to make the yard look good, but it will never be as nice as brent......