its my weekend off. i did some errands today. i picked up my meds and did a grocery shop. and i did some photocoping too.
i made copies of patterns for possible quilt blocks. i really like a few of the ideas. i am still trying to figure out a center block. not sure what yet. i bought a new cordless kettle. cleaned off some of the counter for it. i tossed alot of stuff out of the pantry, most of it was old. i made a apple bread pudding with some old bread and apples. it turned out pretty good. next time i will use butter instead of milk, or half and half.
i cleaned some cages and fed and watered everyone. i am looking after a friends cat and ferret. lauren and noel took the dog. the cat really misses company. i stayed with her for a little while. i will spend some time with her tomorrow too. lauren is due back on tues i think.
i was just talking to my oldest son. he needs some mending done. so will hem his work pants when he gets back again. says he has about 7 pairs of pants to do. i says i will trade him my sewing for the ac unit he bought and put in for me. i think its fair.
my oldest has convinced me to start using the dishwasher too, so i am. it has really helped alot. the only thing i am washing by hand is the plastics. they will melt in the dishwasher.
i am making slow progress on the quilt. but i keep moving forward. it will be dedicated to brent when done. it will be called hearts and flowers.
i still have to get my taxes done. i keep forgetting to call the lady that helped me last year. my memory is not the greatest.
all my creatures have helped to keep me going these long months. its my weekend off and i wish i was working for something to do. the day is long when you come home to no one. i find the nights long. i started to call my friend in london. we connect almost everyday. it helps me alot to know i have a friend out there somewhere who really knows me. we talk about everyday stuff and remember some old things and laugh and sometimes i cry for what might have been. i still love him but i am not in love with him. i have never asked him but i think its the same.
i joined a dating site. so far perverts and scammers. so in other words nothing. sometimes i would like to just have someone to do things with. being alone sometimes is hard. i miss brent every single minute of every single day. you never really know how much you love someone until they are gone forever.....
i am still not sleeping well. i slept for about 4 hours last night before i had to get up and pee. then i could not get back to sleep so i got up at 3am . i am tired so tired. its so hard to face being in bed alone everynight. i miss knowing brent was there in the night. i miss hearing him whisper in my ear he loves me. i miss all the small things of the night. sleep does not come easy. i keep something to work on in the night,beside the bed.
i dont know if i want another man in my life,i dont like being alone but i dont want to raise another husband either....on the bright side to all of this my sons are helping more when they are not working....