its thursday and my day off. tomorrow i start 6 days again. the days are going by in a blurr. i dont remember much other than going to work and coming home. i am forgetting to do some chores and bringing in things from the car.
i found a antique box online. i think its a perfect size for brents ashes, and i think he will like it too.
i had some errands to do today. first was bring the car into the shop to find the leak in the power stearing line. found the leak but ended up paying to fix the tierod and an alinement of the front wheels. sigh, money i really didnt want to spend but it was becoming a safety issue. so i had no choice really. so its fixed and i am 400 less in my pocket. then i had to go pick up the wooden box. i really like it and i think it really suits brent. he always loved things big and over the top, and this box really is. after i got the box i had to go to the bank to try and sort out some paperwork for the life insurance. it seems the bank thinks i am french and all the paperwork is in french. so now i have to try and get the same paperwork sent in english. i have an appt at the bank on mon. so now the insurance payment is delayed even more.
i got a few chores done after i got home. i still have more to do but dealing with paperwork always hurts my brain. i tend to hide and hope it goes away somehow but it never does and end up dealing with it anyway.
i had a dr appt yesterday in person. she wanted to see me in the office. so i got weighed, blood pressure done and temperature. seems i am alive. dr was shocked at my weight loss since last time i was there. i explained that my husband had died in jan and that was why i was asking for something for sleep. she said she would have given it to me. i said during the phone call you had cut me off when i was trying to ask and explain why i wanted it. personally i think she needs to start listening more to what someone is trying to say and not just outright say no. so because of my weight loss i am stopping 2 of my meds. good for me. so hopefully by next year i will be off another med or two.
i brought in some cat litter from the car and got the cat boxes done , fed the birds and the aviary will have to wait for sat.i didnt want to start it while waiting on a phone call from the garage.
friday morning today starts 6days. i will be very tired tomorrow so not sure how much i will get done chore wise.
everytime i want to ask brent a question i have to remind myself i am alone now. no one to ask or get a reply from. so i am left to try and sort things on my own. still no call from my kids. wonder if they will notice when i am gone. i just dont know how to fix this. i am so sad that things have ended up like this. i am sure i am not the only one with kids who dont talk to their parents or parent. when i stopped loaning money because i need it for me and my bills they stopped calling.
i owe some trading cards but i have no ambition to finish the ones i am started to send. i know they have to be done. i find every excuse in the book to not work on them. mostly i am tired and my hands are very shaky. i dont feel confident in making a nice card when i feel like this.
i called an old friend last night just to talk and catch up. it was really nice just to talk with someone about random everyday stuff. i felt normal for a little while. just to talk and think about something else other than my life. he said he might come visit some day. i would love to get away but i have bills to pay and not much extra for fun things like travel.
i am going to close here and finish getting ready for work. its going to be a very long day.