my cat thor decided it was time for me to get up. it was 6 am. sigh. today is brents birthday. he said he didn't want any celebration . i thought i would give him his present anyhow. i bought it last summer before we stopped doing any celebrations and i didn't want to lose it by hiding it again. tomorrow he is going fishing so will make a cake then. he loves cake so its not out of the ordinary i make cake.
i am also thinking of getting an angora bunny. why i have no clue. but i can also sell the fur. i don't think with my coordination issues i would be able to spin very well. but i am scaling back the birds. but its only one ;bunny as i don't need a population explotion of rabbits. they breed easy too. and i don't have the space for more than one right now.
it will be another very hot day. so early and late watering again. maybe a bit of weeding too. i can bend over to the ground to get the weeds but its the pain in my hips that gets to me later. i am paying for all the walking yesterday this morning. my hips are in a lot of pain and my hands. i only get so many good pain pills during the day. i take a few asprin when i have to as well. the dr wont give me any more as she thinks i will become addicted to them. i use them for pain management not to get high. sigh. people who dont have cronic pain dont get it at all.
when i was sitting in the shade and eating my sandwich yesterday, it was by the water. i was able to hear a few birds and see the waves. it was nice to just be , nothing needed to be done and no one wanted anything. i am very aware of the fact that moments like that are going to be few and far between. i remember taking my mother outside when she was dying and she wanted to just sit there forever in the sun. i get it now. i was also the only one out of 4 kids who did take the time to take her outside.
i am a first born child. i am also the first born of 4. 2 boys 2 girls. as a first born a lot was expected of me. such as helping with general house chores etc. at an early age i felt i walked my own path. i cant sing , i cant play music. but my siblings can. but i can knit you a sweater or a pair of socks. i never felt i belonged in my family. i always felt i was adopted. i as my mother once and she said no i was not but i have my doubts as i am so different from the others.....