Happiest birthday to my happiness.
Dear Mark Lee, How do I tell you that it is a beautiful thing that despite the chaos, you still choose to be a strong pillar? You must have shaken so much of your thoughts away, shoving down words and swallowing up tears. I’m sorry they slowly turned into seeds, planted in you like a tree you had to nurture, to let them grow inside you, wrapping itself around you in it’s own permanence.
But you aren’t the little prince and you shouldn't have had to carry all of that. life might be growing out of you. Teenage years went by flash, then next your twenties will be a book read in one sitting. And you’ve always been so conscious about translating mishaps into lessons, of trying to take things more slowly. And in spite of searching for everything in the middle of the night or early mornings, you dissolve all terrible things into unspeakable comfort. How beautiful your words be, like a welcome home with all its wounds, like: ah there you are let me love you in kindness.
So for your birthday this year, I hope you’ll feel the feeling of finding something familiar in the midst of unfamiliarity. I hope you’ll feel the feeling of silence after too much of everything, the kind of silence that doesn’t ask for much, a kind of comfortable silence. A feeling of a clean slate. A feeling of knowing everything is going to be okay. Because to me you are someone I cherish, respect, and someone I look up to. To me you are everything beautiful in this life and I wish you will always be surrounded by love and happiness.
And at last, I hope time will heal you, as there’s still so much of the world for you to walk through and I’d love to be there with you until the end. I may not be the strongest person but for you, I’ll stay strong so anytime you need a pillar to lean on, I’ll be there.
Happy birthday Mark Lee. I loved you💙