your head hurts terribly— you've been trying to scrape pieces of your lost memories, fumbling in dizziness each time. it's like someone isn't allowing you to have a peek at the illuminance; instead pushing you back out into the endless darkness.
even so, you know that you'll never advance without forcing those memories to return.
your spinning head isn't enough to stop you— that's what you believe. within your mind, you try to recall whatever seems important in your life. whether it's individuals, places, or words; anything that can be a lead to your memories.
nothing. absolutely nothing.
no matter how hard you seeked for clues, it seems like it's always out of reach.
carefully, you pick yourself up, immediately wobbling as if your legs have given up before you.
trying your best not to be bothered by the wooziness, you move your legs slowly one by one.
after some time walking in a spinning world, you found yourself in a familiar place.
“this is... ugh,” the dizziness struck again, but you're about to say that it is the location where you first introduced yourself to sir gethwine.
you recall the moments when you're disoriented, worried, and lost. one mistake and you'd be shot dead, that's what you're thinking in front of your current superior.
you raise your head, looking at the place where sir gethwine once stood.
“come to think of it...” another memory returns; this very place is also where you first remembered a part of your name.
is this the clue? is this where everything will return to you?
holding your chest, you sit on the floor with pain flowing into your head— like it's telling you to stop.
but you're never going to stop.
your eyes closes, then you begin to relive the moments when you were there.
the pain, the aching, the questions, the name.
why can't you recall your name? why are you there? why do you have to go through this? what is your name?
why? 𝘸𝘩𝘺? 𝙒𝙃𝙔?
your head feels heavy. your heart aches like it did in the past. it hurts.
you're slowly running out of breath; oxygen leaving you as though someone's choking you. something— or someone— is trying to stop you from questioning yourself.
you're about to collapse, but you won't give in, not until that voice talks to you.
little by little, your vision goes gray, then almost black. but your consciousness is trying its best to stay.
your body collapses onto the floor.
but you're still there. whoever wants to shush you silent won't be getting what they want.
“i won't...” dying inside, aren't you? “give up.”
your head feels like it's about to burst, but you won't give up
“i won't,”
your heart feels like it's going to explode.
“won't,”
‹ A████████. ›
it's there; surely it isn't your hallucination since it's echoing inside your mind.
but you refuse to reply, not until your memories return.
‹ A████████. E&¿0-gh. ›
your chest tightens. it hurts.
‹ A███████S. 4@ou-h. ›
what's that? your organs are in immense pain, you can't concentrate.
‹ I sa&6 eno@w9. ›
ah, it's too much. it's gibberish.
‹ AN██████S. ›
“wh— what ... do you want,” you spat out words.
‹ 8?u're 3raXy. Wh#? ›
you close your eyes in disbelief. “me ... mor ... ies.”
you feel it sighing inside your mind. a regretfully disappointed exhale similar to a parent's discontent.
‹ Y@u as?!d. ›
in an instant, every pain inside your body aches at the same time. from your head, your chest, even to your legs.
everything's hurting like each one of your bones are breaking. you scream agonizingly.
amidst the pain, another unexpected thing overflows into you, but it isn't a torment.
memories. all of them passes your mind one by one, exceedingly quick but also slow at the same time.
where you were born, where you lived, who you lived with, what you are, your abilities, your purpose, your name.
such an immeasurable memories causes you to faint. but you've regained what you've longed for.
your memories.
now you can rest well ... without a problem.
after a while, your eyes opens once more. the impassive look erased, replaced with a distant, ferocious hunger inside your eyes.
continued to 'restored, a reaper's purpose.'