Theory Of A Death Worker

I had initially meant to order them weeks ago, but I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I have Task Avoidance ADHD. They arrived today, 1 pound of chocolate coins, two days before I expected them. The God in question, Lugh, was ecstatic. I also put a few on Santisima's altar for good fortune and maybe a little sweetening the pot. Heh.

There's nothing really new to report, I've been talking with my Gods and have decided to try and salvage my friendship with the person who hurt me. It was a stupid misunderstanding, and I don't want to lose the only person who really gets me over it. (On the off chance that you are actually reading this; I am truly sorry that my words hurt you, I never meant any harm by them.) I understand that I am terrible with words, the fact that I openly talk to spirits probably doesn't help my case.

I'm still trying to figure out what happened in Appalachia, something about me changed, and now my body feels wrong and fuck I don't know what to do! I have literally no one who understands me; if I can't figure it out, how the fuck can I expect someone else to? I had a run in with some people from my old cult, it was a pain, but I handled well, I think. (Other things happened as well, but I can't voice them without having people think I've truly lost it.) I guess the best way to describe it would be an ego death, or maybe some type of strange void psychosis/mental breakdown. I feel better for it, my abilities have gotten a lot better. Who knows, my mind feels weird and new now. I used to not be able to feel energy well, now I can feel it all around me. I used to not be able to see my Gods without pain, now they exist simultaneously in my space with me. I'm interested to see what this means for my energy and death work.

My cousin took offense to my witchy side and ditched me. She and I never did really see eye to eye on that matter, what with her being raised strict Christian-ish and me being a weird mystic with a Godly entourage. I do find it a bit stupid, as she did see spirits right up until her death.

I guess I'll end this here, I can't think of anything else to add at this point.