Melissa Moves Furniture

Furniture Tetris By Melissa Lipnick

The other day, as I was nearly laid out flat by our 200lb mattress (yes, really 200lbs), I thought how fortunate that we are blessed with four boys. Yes, we are #blessed, because in as little as a decade, we will have our very own personal furniture moving service! My husband's sore back will get a rest, and my hobby (obsession?) will be gleefully enabled.

This is how it all began, like any other fairy tale with a monster hiding in the eaves: Once upon a time, I was just a little girl dragging her 87 stuffed animals down the hallway to a newly vacated bedroom that I had claimed. It was then that I learned to bask in the freedom of my space. I could close the door, push the lock button in, and create a whole new world, a whole new me! Plus, the shock and awe effect from my parents and siblings was like a dangling carrot that I would jump higher and higher to achieve.

I've since grown up and left my mark on the wooden floors of many a rental house. The childhood nickname of “furniture mover” is still relevant and actively used by my family. In fact, as I type now, I can't help but smirk hearing my husband approach. I look up and sheepishly smile as he stops in his tracks at the sight of the dining room, formally known as the living room.

You see, we live in a 95 year old house that aches beneath the IKEA furniture I slide around like Tetris blocks. I'm like Cinderella on the daily, and the dangling carrot is now an actual carrot I would like to eat, but first I have to do 18 loads of dishes, cook 7 different meals to appease all preferences, and fight a 3-year old to let me use my phone.

Therefore, I've given up on any hope of keeping a clean house (who am I kidding, I'm as messy as the children). I'm just a girl living in an all boys' world here. My glass slipper is not gonna come knocking on our door. My high-waisted, Costco fleece pants are my gown. My prince is making a chiropractor appointment right now, and just rolls his eyes when I promise that this time I really, really, REALLY won't change my mind. So let me have my Furniture Tetris, and I'll give you my sanity in exchange, dear family.

Excuse me now, I'm off to go see if the kitchen island would look good in the dining room, and the dining room table can fit in the spare bedroom. It's 2021 and that means I am a homeschool teacher now too. The most fun I can have is by keeping the kids on their toes, guessing which room houses the TV today.

Until next time, here's a glimpse of the great dining room/living room mashup, kid-disasters and all:

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