I'm packing up all your things, and all the gifts you gave me. Putting each one into the bag makes me want to cry, because each one is proof that you loved me and how our love grew and blossomed over time. Each one is stamped with pictures of us, journeying through the world, intertwining our lives, intertwining into each other.

Every time I press the button you made me, tears come to my eyes. Because nobody will ever love me like you did. Nobody will ever call me Kaichik the way you did. Or hold me like you did. Or make me feel as safe as you did. You were my shield against all the painful difficult things of the world. And now it's all over.

I'm giving it back because I'm undeserving. Because maybe one day I will be deserving and I'll be able to come back to you and find you there again, with everything packed into a box along with the things I gave you. And maybe then we'll unpack it, and laugh, and cry, and hold each other, and begin our lives together again. I love you, Ellioshka. I love you like I've never loved anybody before. Keep it safe for me, even if it's all over.