mommaleelee

I would hold my belly and feel your warmth and love growing inside me.

I was in love with you from the second I found out you were created.

I had so many dreams for you and our little family.

Your brother was so excited.

I wanted to name you Madison.

I felt you were a baby girl.

You were my baby girl and I just wanted to hold you and love you.

I needed you to be okay and healthy.

I was desperate to meet you.

I did everything I was suppose to.

I rested.

Ate healthy.

Took my vitamins.

I had you growing inside me for just over 11 weeks and it wasn’t nearly long enough.

We almost made it to the second trimester.

You and me!

This time was precious and I felt blessed and honoured to be your mom.

Then you were gone just like that.

One horrifying instant.

I knew you had left.

A part of me has never been the same since.

I was putting your brother to bed one night.

Lying on his bedroom floor like I always did.

I would caress my stomach and connect to you.

Dream of you and all of our plans together.

This night something was eerily different because when I touched my tummy it was cold.

Your warmth was gone.

Your beautiful loving energy was silent.

I knew I needed to remain strong and wanted so badly to believe I was wrong.

The next morning I was terrified that you were in trouble and I was helpless.

I had no control and I was losing my baby and there was nothing I could do.

I never got to hold your tiny little hands and look into your beautiful eyes.

I never felt your warmth ever again.

I never got to name you.

I never got to burry you.

This all may be true but I promise I have never forgotten you.

You will always be my baby.

You are my baby.

I carry your love with me every single day.

Love your momma ❤️

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