June 1, 2020

Day 29 A Choice

Choices are thrown at us each and every day. A choice to grumble or be happy, a choice to look for good or look for bad. A choice to harbor grudges or forgive, to be jealous or be loving. The list goes on and on. In the case of this pandemic we have had many changes thrust upon us and have had to make choices in how to respond, how to adjust.

Do I always make the best of choices? No, quite often mistakes are the greatest teachers in life lessons. When I perceive others have wronged me, I confess forgiving is not always my first response. I haven’t always made wise choices with my thoughts and words. Literally I have gotten angry only to realize I may have vented steam but that didn’t solve or change anything. All I have done is hurt myself and others. In those cases I chose to blame others instead of taking responsibility for my own actions and behavior.

So where am I going with this? History has a way of repeating itself . I have often found myself on a number of occasions saying because of my upbringing I am the way I am. I have used that as a crutch to be my excuse for my behavior. Truth is there may have been many things in my upbringing that has hurt and hindered me but it comes down to today. What is my crutch today? My past is the past I cannot change it. I can admit my failures and learn to apply good behavior skills in parenting, in being a wife, a mother, a follower of God, a neighbor, in all of life. After all , the choice is mine.


May 28, 2020

Day 28 I’m a Packrat!

I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time dealing with my “stuff”. Set aside my emotions and ambitions and yep you have me and my stuff. I used to observe my mother in law and always thought she had her “stuff” together. She had a routine, never laid anything down and never kept more than was necessary. She was meticulous in keeping herself and her home in order.

when we moved into her house after her passing roughly 3 years ago, my thoughts were how hard would it be to keep her house like she kept it? I found out it wasn’t that simple. I was not raised like she was raised. I did not learn what she learned over the years. And last but not least there is, and will only be, one of her not two.

I come from a family of packrats. I only know the true extent of this because my sister and I literally went through all of our parents “stuff” to downsize and move them into a condo. Only to turn around in 2 ½ years and go through everything that didn’t get gone through the first time. Let me insert here, mom and dad had my grandma and grandpa’s stuff as well as my great aunts stuff which I still have some of that to through too. Ugh! You would think I would have learned a valuable lesson. I can be a terribly slow learner. Sometimes I don’t think I really care. Then I had a day like today when it was time to clean the basement. I had been putting it off for a rainy day and so today was the day. It dawned on me, yep I save way too much “stuff”.

You never know when you might need that. Someday I’ll get around to using that. And then all the projects and nifty ideas... sometimes some day never comes. And so I learn to part with it, what ever” it” is.

Yes, I’m a packrat. I keep way too many things. Some times I just don’t want to deal with making a decision in what to keep and what to get rid of. I’m learning to be happy and content with who I am and try not to be hard on myself and others. Life is too short to spend all of it keeping my stuff in order. I guess its a form of job security? Always having something to do. I will continue to make changes, move things on, toss things out and focus more on enjoying each day to the fullest with no regrets.


May 25, 2020

Day 27 Clara M. Leidtke

While mowing today and thinking of it being Memorial Day and those who have given their lives in many ways for our freedom it dawned on me about my great aunt, Clara Leidtke. She was always “Aunt Marsie” to us. It wasn’t until my later years that I really knew what she had done for a good portion of her life.

She had been a Army Nurse specializing in Orthopedics but held various positions in her career. She was stationed in Tokyo Japan, Sapporo Japan, Neubruecke Germany, and also at Ft. Bragg. By the many, many slides I currently have of hers, she traveled all over the world before making Colorado her permanent place of residency. She wanted to always look out and see Pikes Peak.

What would it have been like for her and all the other military Dr.s and nurses facing pandemic in our world currently? Technology wasn’t what it is today.

Thank you Aunt Marsie, thank you Dr.s, nurses, servicemen and women of the past the present and the future. We salute you.


May 24, 2020

Day 25 Warmth!

I can’t tell you how many days its been, but today we had temperatures not in the 50’s, not in the 60’s, not even the 70’s but actually in the 80’s. Along with it, we had beautiful sun and a nice breeze. The temperatures were finally lining up with the time of year. A sure welcome change from the rain!

Instead of my usual walk in the morning, I took a late evening stroll. It was delightful. The temperatures just right, not hot enough to make me too sweaty. The mosquito’s weren’t out, the beans are breaking through the crust of the ground, the birds where still singing their melodic tunes.The smells are more fragrant at dusk. It was As though the world was ever so slowly quieting itself down for a peaceful slumber so as to start it all over again tomorrow.

And so it is with me. I had a pleasant, peaceful Sunday. Church in the morning and the rest of the day to do whatever. Rest, read, walk, talk with family, etc. And so before I fall asleep here typing, I bid you all a good night.


May 23, 2020

Day 25 Contentment

While going about my day today, this simple word came to mind and so I thought on it awhile. Contentment, what does it really mean anyway?

I looked up the definition and it said: The state of happiness and satisfaction. Hmm, definitely food for thought. As I asked myself that question it occurred to me that quite often no, I am not content. Not content with my looks, my weight, my talents and abilities for that matter even my accomplishments. And unfortunately that spills into how I look at much of life and the life of those around me.

It is easy to fall into the envy, jealous, comparing mode and never really address the real issue which is, am I content where I am and who I am? If not why? It is really simple if I haven’t learned to be happy where I am, how do I think another place, another job will give me lasting satisfaction? This is not saying to stay in one spot and never try. I’m saying if I learn to be content and be the best right where I am, won’t that give me purpose, assurance and peace to step out and try other things?

Lord, teach me to be content right where I am so when opportunity knocks at my door, I will be confident and content to boldly go.


May 22,2020

Day 24 Just because I can

As I stood at the kitchen sink working on a pile of dishes from dinner, I saw my dog Oreo looking at me. I spoil her rotten with treats. So I took the time and went out to give her a bone while there I decided to sit on the step and just rub her belly. I can almost hear her say,”I’ll give you a year to stop that...

While sitting there looking about my surroundings I observed many things. The sparrows gathering twigs and whatnot for a nest, the wasps buzzing, the barn swallows swooping and chattering, the clouds flitting by and all the many other things I could mention but won’t .

It occurred to me that I can do many things in this life. Yes I could accomplish much if I put my mind to it and chose to. And yet I learn to find satisfaction in the very small things of life. I make myself available and seem to find ample opportunities to keep as busy as I want to be.

Just because I can...its so random and so liberating. Which lends itself to many things, even typing this blog earlier in the day. You know, just because I can.


May 21, 2020

Day 23: A Heart Condition

It has been said we inherit much from our parents. Some of those things can be our eye color, blood type, distinct characteristics, and possibly some health condition and diseases.

My daughter told me about a book she was going through in a Bible Study and thought I might be interested. The title of the book is “The Enemies of the Heart “by Andy Stanley. I had listened to some of the teaching on YouTube and decided there was enough I was interested in to get my own copy.

My life has been plagued with fears, doubts, jealousies, anger, pride and guilt. Coincidentally 3 issues that I struggled with the most were talked about in this book. Admittedly no one wants to admit their issues. I will pull out anger as an example. My family knows I wrestle with this issue.

Over the years I have thought I was dealing with my anger, but in reality I was stuffing it to the breaking point and would blow up with words and actions that was damaging to myself and those whom I love. The negative chatter would point condemning fingers at me. As I work through my anger I recall my parents both having anger issues. I witnessed their explosions without learning how to defuse or deal with the problems. Anger is a heart enemy. Built up hurts, destructive thoughts, emotional instability. These grow in the secret places of our heart. The best way to defuse anger? Expose it by admitting and confessing it is a problem. When we bring issues of the heart into the open, it gives them less power over us.

A scripture I quote quite often is Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart Oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. I picture my heart in His mighty hand making my heart what He created it to be, forgiven and made new.


May 20, 2020

Day 22: Signs of the Seasons

It doesn’t matter if it feels like it or not, there are certain signs that accompany each season. I enjoy all 4, but I think spring is always so fascinating with all the newness of life breaking forth with spring flowers, the trees budding, the return of the song birds, litters of kittens, the sun up earlier, and the promise of longer days and warmer temperatures. (We are waiting patiently for those warmer temperatures!)

The spring flowers start with the crocuses, daffodils, tulips, hyacinths, grape hyacinths, move on to lilacs, lily of the valley, peonies, columbines, and so on.

The birds come back in a very similar pattern as well. The red-winged blackbirds, song sparrows, chipping sparrows, finches, meadowlarks, blue heron, ducks, killdeer, bluebirds, gold finches, Baltimore Orioles, mockingbirds, recently the barn swallows, ad this week the hummingbirds, the blue jays, darlings, cardinals, morning doves, woodpeckers, and other sparrows overwinter. And we can’t forget the return of the buzzards as our clean up committee!

The end of last week I saw my first red admiral butterfly and saw a monarch yesterday. So even though the temperatures don’t quite measure up, all creation is in full swing going about what it was created to do, and that is bloom and shine where they are planted.


May 19, 2020

Day 21: To think I started out in California

Yep I am originally a “California Girl.” I resided with my parents and only sister at 1017 Presidio Drive in Costa Mesa, California. Where I remember many rainy days like what we have been experiencing here lately but we also had our fare share of sun and foggy days as well. Though I don’t ever remember having delays or cancellations due to fog, and we never had snow days because there was never any snow. Even though I could see snow in the mountains.

I was very fortunate to live directly in front of my school. We had a gate in our fence, so each morning for school I went through the gate, across the parking lot and was at school. Presidio School was my school for 1-3 grades. I had Mrs. Gilbertson as my 1st and 2nd teacher. Mrs. Stepnitz was my 3rd grade teacher. Interesting memories of that school was eating outside for lunch. When the custodian hosed down the tables after lunch the sea gulls came to eat. On rainy days we ate in the classroom, there was no cafeteria. Also I remember learning to do cartwheels with several other kids. That was a normal before school and recess activity. They ended up closing that school and I ended up going several blocks to Sonora Elementary. There I had Mrs. Boat for 4th grade and Miss Gant and Miss Hyman for 5th grade. In 4th grade I had done a project on the missions of California, and remember Mrs. Boat reading the book Castle of Fear to the class at reading time. In 5th grade I was introduced to Greek Mythology and also took up flute playing with Mr. Yates.

Our backyard was not very big, but we had Birds of Paradise plants, a bottlebrush tree with beautiful red blossoms, a Century plant in the corner of the yard, and geraniums that were taller than me along the fence. One year we grew cherry tomatoes in the corner near the patio.

A memory I particularly cherish is the time my dad took me to our nearby park. Tewinkle Park was its name. There was a tall hill there or at least it seemed tall to me. Dad took me up there on the side of that hill. It looked over the racetrack and nearby Fairgrounds. He showed me how to put a blade of grass between my thumbs and blow through it and make a noise. A quiet afternoon, just the two of us forever etched in my childhood memories. Kind of like a Daddy Date!


May 18, 2020

Day 20: Procrastination

Why is it I can wake up on a Monday morning and have so many ideas for the day and not accomplish much or any of them?

I had ideas for cooking: making a pie, or a rhubarb cake. I had ideas of putting together several meals for the week. Then there were ideas of cleaning house, cleaning the basement and getting organized. Many opportunities to use a rainy day wisely. None of it happened...

Instead, I went for a long walk in the rain. Thankfully I went when it was mildly raining. Since returning, it has rained almost 2 inches. The ditch is completely flooded, which is how I cross and walk in the field. I did make chicken soup for lunch which was a welcome change on a damp day. I managed to wash a couple loads of laundry, finished coloring a picture I started last evening, and also finished a movie I started last evening as well. My husband and I finished our 9th puzzle since the beginning of Covid, so we took that one down and have started a new one. Piano practicing was accomplished as well.

It’s all working out really. I guess I’m learning not to be so hard on myself. It’s ok if plans get changed. I never had anything set in stone anyway. There are some things in life we need to be diligent in doing and then there are other things to trust in the right time will get done. Who says everything needs done on Monday anyway?

Though one never knows when they may get their second wind!