I am a moron

Seriously. It shows that you don't know me at all. I get that its meant as a compliment; the statement is often followed by an appreciation of my character, but it shows a lack of respect for me as a person.

What makes you think that I, a person that does not want kids, would be the same person if I was put into that situation? I am able to be that kind of person you describe because I get my alone time. I am independent in my way of life, I need to be left alone from time to time to recharge and reflect. I need to be able to go days without talking to people if I want to. If I were to have a kid I would lose that ability and I would feel robbed because of it.

Whats even more disrespectful is the lack of active listening you've done in previous conversations. You should know that I don't want that house with the picket fence. If you've done any listening you would know that I would much rather spend parts of my life in a sailboat or on the road doing odd jobs for money. That is not a good life for a kid, and what makes you think that I'd be the same person if I would have to give up those dreams? It shows a lack of comprehension and emotional understanding when you don't consider what having kids would do to my sense of freedom.

You have this ideal of me that you want me to become some day and you think a kid will magically flip the switch somehow. You want me to become someone I'm not, and thats why its disrespectful. It shows that you want me to live the life you wanted, and you're invalidating my wants and needs to confirm your own. You need others to make the same choice as you to assure yourself that you made the right call when you decided to have kids.

Sorry (not really) but I don't want kids, its not who I am and I wont be the person you know if I had one. The next time someone says I'll be a good parent, I'll respond with “Thanks. You'll be a horrible one.”

I was talking with a buddy today about materialism, property and whats sometimes referred to “adult points”. He's currently looking for a house to buy, and I recently moved out of my studio apartment, so naturally our current events morphed together.

When I moved out of my apartment I realized how much unnecessary stuff I own, so much so that I was tempted to throw away almost everything and start from scratch. There are some things I would like to keep however.

Why do I still have a lot of stuff?

Short answer: The endowment effect, loss aversion.

I'm by no means a big time hoarder, but I hang onto stuff that I rarely use “just in case” I need it in like 2 years (i.e soldering iron, PS3 etc). With the stuff I have unconsciously “increased my wealth” by accumulating personal property. What I really have done though is grow roots to a place and my lifestyle. Moving becomes a hassle and so does changing my way of life, which is why I'm working towards getting rid of a lot of it. I came to this conclusion after I turned down the opportunity to study journalism because it was more comfortable to continue in the same tracks, meaning not moving, but continue to study something I had lost interest in. Now I have to wait until 2021 to apply again, because I thought I turned it down because I didn't want to study journalism when in reality I just didn't want to move.

My thoughts on owning property

Contrary to popular belief and goals in life, I do not want to buy a house or an apartment. Its not on my plans for the near future, nor is it on my bucket list at all. I'm perfectly content with not owning land or an apt. before I die. I'm open to the possibility that it might change in the future, but I highly doubt it. To me, buying a (non moving) place to live means putting down roots and restricting my freedom to travel, be spontaneous and live as a freelancer. To others it might mean “no longer paying rent”, the freedom to do changes to their living space (will touch on why this notion is not necessarily true in a later post), accumulating wealth, investing and higher social status, as well as bragging rights.

If things were different, if selling a house was as easy as ending a rental agreement I would probably consider it, but without the intention of living there for a long time. If that were the case, buying an apartment would be almost identical to paying rent to yourself, without the commitment that comes with having to sell the apartment before moving. I don't see that as a possibility when one person is allowed to own indefinite numbers of apartments though. This is why I don't see an issue with renting instead of buying (meaning I have issues with renting in other ways). For me, renting means more freedom to live my life as I want to. Some might argue that I'm afraid of commitment, and I'm the first to admit that they're right in this regard, but on the other hand I'm not afraid to go against the common way of life.

This isn't some “why you should be a minimalist” post. Its just my opinion, what others do is no concern of mine, people are free to follow the common path and do as they please. I don't judge people for that, its the safest way to go and it makes you fit in. What others do rarely affects me, with the exception of bureaucracy and unjust laws people are directly or indirectly supporting. I do however like to respond to that mentality when people try discourage me from doing what I want because of their personal fears they have if they were the ones planning to do it. I'll write a post on this phenomenon later.

I'm really craving an adventure right about now. Last summer I travelled through europe for 2 weeks by train, and while it was fun it wasnt exactly a challenge. Next time I want to try travelling by bike with a tent and a hammock to sleep in, keeping hostel visits to a minimum.

Hopefully this COVID situation is under control by next year, so that its possible for me to do. In the meantime I guess I should get in shape.

Good night

I've always liked writing. Back in high school we would have to do essays, and while they were cumbersome, it was my favorite part of being in school. Of course I didn't realize it at the time, but I do now.

For the past three years I've studied Computer Science, a student climate I've come to dislike. I miss being able to express myself, criticize stuff or elaborate on my interests and beliefs. I do express myself vocally to my peers, but I find that the people I study with dont have the same mindset and passions as I do. Thats not to say that they are not interesting people, I'm just pointing out that I feel a bit like an outsider here.

I see programming as a creative outlet, and while I might be able to express my views through programming, I would put myself liable to lawsuits (I think). I'm an advocate of free information, and information for all. With programming you have the power to express yourself and also prove a point. With writing, you only have the power to express yourself. Unless you blow up, people can just ignore what you say, and thats the beauty of it.

I've gone tired of discussing matters on sites like reddit. The discussion climate really has gone downhill, and I think part of the reason why is that the only people you're going to discuss your opinion with, are people with a strong opinion on the exact opposite view. Rarely will you see people agreeing with you hop into the comments and discuss it peacefully just for the sake of exchanging ideas. No, what you'll see is people attacking one another because they think the other person is wrong, and I believe that is because only the people annoyed with your statement will enter a discussion on the matter.

Why am I talking about this? Well, because for the last couple of years, reddit has been my main writing platform. What I've come to realize is that I kept on writing a lot after high school, but it now drains me because it attracts the opposite of the people I want to engage with. I would like to emphasize that I'm not advocating for a safe space, I'm advocating for a better debate climate.

I think I want to change my main writing outlet to something more neutral, like (hopefully) I want to be able to share thoughts without it being seen as an invitation to debate the matter. I would love to discuss a lot of them, but I'm so tired of trolls on the internet, so from now on I think I'll stick to discussing them in person.

Enter your email to subscribe to updates.