Freedom to choose to do things
#3
I am most probably changing that chapter number as you're reading this. The same rant to start with. The subscribe to newsletter is buried deep. So just read through please. Everything else will take care of itself.
That last sentence your read, that is the most reclusive thing to even start with. To some extent we can believe that some things take care of itself. But that is no eternity. Past few weeks have been a high octane struggle for me personally. Travelling in my mind is becoming more and more harder thing to do.
I have some past experience that makes me to give secondary priority to work. Like you have someone in your home who has given so much priority to work that you are proud and anxious about it at the same time. So that schitz just seeps down into your own work schedules. That thing is hard to digest too.
For most part of my life I am quite sure that, mentally I can completely dissect the work I do for money and one I do out of passion. And I feel like that's a superpower for most part of it. Isn't it good?!! Now I am seeking validation. That validation is least sought though.
The most sought advice/validation I am looking for currently is to satisfy that inner lacuna in me that is growing as time is passing. Choice is a weird thing. Things you do which you cannot choose to not do, you want to give them up most strongly.
And giving up after knowing your strength is not a worst thing to do. All I want to do is doing a stage time of nine hours almost in like three/four weeks. Yep. That is what I look for, for eternity.
Maybe telling this schitz out loud is a choice…aye?!!😬